SIGNS THAT MAKE YOU SMILE :-)

I like to read other blogs to see what people think is worthy of a post.  Some rant, others rave, some give recipes or favorite places to eat, while others outline their daily routines.  I find some extremely boring and others quite interesting and even entertaining.  I guess you could say, something for everyone.  Me, I like to smile.  I like it even better when I can laugh.  I hope these signs will make you smile or laugh. 




Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:


"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."


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In a Podiatrist's office:


"Time wounds all heels."


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On a Septic Tank Truck:


Yesterday's Meals on Wheels


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At a Proctologist's door:


"To expedite your visit, please back in. "


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On a Plumber's truck:


"We repair what your husband fixed."


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On another Plumber's truck:


"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."


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On a Church's Bill board:


"7 days without God makes one weak."


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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :


"Invite us to your next blowout."


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At a Towing company:


"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.."


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On an Electrician's truck:


"Let us remove your shorts.."


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In a Nonsmoking Area:


"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."


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On a Maternity Room door:


"Push. Push. Push."


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At an Optometrist's Office:


"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."


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On a Taxidermist's window:


"We really know our stuff."


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On a Fence:


"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"


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At a Car Dealership:


"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."


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Outside a Muffler Shop:


"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."


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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:


"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"


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At the Electric Company


"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.


However, if you don't, you will be."


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In a Restaurant window:


"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."


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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:


"Drive carefully. We'll wait."


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At a Propane Filling Station:


"Thank heaven for little grills."


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And don't forget the sign at a


CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:


"Best place in town to take a leak."


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Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:


"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

I hope you found one sign that at least made you smile!

PONDERISMS

Don't stay up nights worrying about any of this!  :-)


Can you cry under water?


How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?


Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?


Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?


Why does a round pizza come in a square box?


What disease did cured ham actually have?


How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?


Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?


If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?


Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?


Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...


Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?


Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?


If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?


If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?


Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!


If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?


If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?


If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?


Why did you just try singing the two songs above?


Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?


Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?


Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?


Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?


Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?


Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?


Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?


Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?


Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?


If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?


Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?


Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?


Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?


Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?


Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?


How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?


Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?


In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?


How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?


And my FAVORITE.........


The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

RENEWING YOUR MEXICAN LICENSE PLATES IN MERIDA, YUCATAN

 

Recently, the laws have changed regarding most things associated with driving in the Yucatan. In fact, the new laws and amendments include 288 pages of changes and additions. While most things have changed, some laws have remained in place. I will not attempt to interpret these 288 pages of changes for you. However, I do recommend that you check out the excellent article published in Yucatan Living regarding the same subject. Check out www.yucatanliving.com . Read their article on “New Yucatan Road Rules”.


I am going to tell you of my very recent experience renewing my license plates here in Merida. In past years, you basically just had to show up with a few copies of this or that, and your money. Not anymore. It is a much more sophisticated and complicated system.


There are five (5) different locations you can go to here in Merida, and eight (8) others located throughout the State of Yucatan. I chose to go to the Convention Center, SIGLO XXI, in Merida. It’s easy to get to and has ample parking facilities. I’ve been there before and have never had to wait more than just a few minutes for my turn. Wow, that too, has changed! Be forewarned that lines are long and frustration reigns.


MY FIRST VISIT: From past experiences, I had copies of everything I “thought” I might need. (Foolish me.) When it was my turn, the young lady who waited on me asked for more papers than I had brought. My fault, I concluded, and off I went to return home and gather the rest of the goodies.


MY SECOND VISIT: I returned the next day with the additional papers I was informed I needed. Because I had been there the day before, I got to see the same young lady again. I handed her the additional paperwork she had requested the day before, and after checking it closely and asking someone I perceived to be a supervisor, it was determined that I was once again paperwork deficient. I asked her to please write down just exactly what it was that I needed and I would get it and return the next day. I was missing only one item according to her note. So, off I go back home to retrieve the additional paper I needed. I went immediately to the copy store and made sure I had copies of everything that was requested of me. I even checked it all twice, just in case. Good to go, I thought. (Foolish me, again.)

MY THIRD VISIT: Once again, because I had become a known and easily recognizable repeat customer/offender, I got to see the same young lady again. She scrutinized each and every paper I had previously given her pausing only to ask her supervisor (again) if something or the other was acceptable, or correct. I thought, geesh – we just went through this yesterday and the day before! Collectively, they confirmed that I had passed all their tests and was ready to go. I was elated and wanted to stand up and do the “yesss, I got it dance”. However, quickly realizing that would be somewhat inappropriate given the obvious frustrations of approximately 150 others who were waiting and probably in situations similar to mine, I decided against it.


With the myriad of paperwork finally accomplished, I was given a tiny piece of paper and directed to another area to actually pay for my plate renewal. Once again, each piece of paper was scrutinized and a supervisor was called over to confirm that everything was legitimate and in order. At this point, I am now slightly irritated. This coupled with my previous frustrations, could have made for a difficult situation. However, I managed a smile and asked what the problem was. The guy told me I needed another copy of my driver’s license and a copy of my immigration papers! At this point in time, I’m sure my blood pressure rose at least a few points both diastolic and systolic.


I informed him that he had all of that in front of him in the package of papers I just gave him. He acknowledged that affirmatively, but stated he needed copies to cash me out. I asked why the girl didn’t tell me that yesterday and showed him her note of what items were missing. My irritation and frustration must have shown because he now started to speak fluent English to me. I explained that this was my third trip and each time I was told to bring something different, but was never told to bring more copies of what he was asking for. Long story short, he made copies for me realizing that the system was new to everyone and it was obvious others were as irritated and frustrated as I was. I paid 204 pesos (approximately $15.10 US) for the renewal fees, was given my new certificate and off I went. I did give the guy a tip for helping me as he could easily have made me come back a fourth time.


In addition to a nice smile and lots of patience, here is what you need to bring with you when you go to renew your Mexican license plates in the Yucatan:






1. The ORIGINAL and one (1) copy of a receipt for telephone, water, or electric with your name on it. They matched the name and address on the bill with other papers I gave them.






2. The ORIGINAL and two (2) copies of your Immigration document (FM-2, FM-3, etc.) One copy is for the initial review and one is for the cashier.






3. The ORIGINAL and two (2) copies of your Mexican driver’s license. If you do not have a Mexican driver’s license, you may need the ORIGINAL and two (2) copies of your passport in addition to the ORIGINAL and two (2) copies of a current driver’s license from your country of origin. I asked this question, but no one would commit to a confirmed answer. Again, one copy of your Mexican driver’s license is for the initial review and one is for the cashier.


4. The ORIGINAL and one (1) copy of your current insurance policy. No insurance – no renewal. This is a new requirement and is part of the recent 288 pages of legal changes that were recently enacted.






5. The ORIGINAL and one (1) copy of last years’ receipt for payment of tenencia (vehicle tax) or license plate renewal.






Here’s hoping you can do it all in just one trip! Good luck and happy motoring!