Wednesday, October 12, 2011

G-R-O-A-N-E-R-S-





If these don't make you groan, I recommend doubling up on your meds and asking your therapist for more weekly sessions!  :-)


Groan away:


1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.  He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in LinoleumBlownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

20. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

21. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says,"I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

22. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.  No pun in ten did.


If these didn't solicit a groan, go ahead and moan!


8 comments:

  1. Mikey, luv da groaners and the interesting & educational factoids you toss out every once in a while! Always read them and get a giggle, groan, or a hmmm mm? Keep up the great work - it IS appreciated!
    Dan in nc

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  2. Thanks Dan! I appreciate the feedback. Lots of folks tell me that they are unable to post comments - Blogger Villain doesn't let them.

    Your comment made my day!

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  3. I love these kinds of posts, too. These are all funny but #7 made me LOLOL.

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  4. definitely got some good laughs!

    teresa in nagoya

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  5. i wonder if those folks who can't post comments were making the same mistake i was. it seems that after one pushes submit, it goes back to the top. it made me think my comment disappeared but then i scrolled down and saw that i needed to put in the mystery word. some blogs automatically show it right away. i wrote you a long comment on the last funny post, i really enjoyed it, then it disappeared or so i thought. just thought i'd mention it.

    teresa in nagoya

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  6. And, of course, there is my favorite Latin pun. (I think I came up with it as a high school freshman.) Did you hear about the left-handed gambler who was known for his sinister dexterity?

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  7. Given the difficult times the world is facing, I'm happy I was able to put a smile on someones face, even if for only a few seconds. I think the world needs more smiles, don't you?

    And, believe it or not, Blogger Villain is allowing comments to be posted again, including mine!

    Miracle, or something.

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  8. Good ones Mike. I share these on the bus trips as well. It brings chuckles.

    Barb and Harry

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