MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

I'll be traveling in Chiapas, Mexico, for Christmas and New Year, but just wanted to take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Prosperous New Year!

May all the joys and wonders of this magical season be yours. And never forget the reason for the season!

I'll have at least one or two "Diversion Excursions" to blog about when I get back!

Talk with you in 2011!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

FELIZ NAVIDAD Y PROSPERO AÑO NUEVO!

DID YOU KNOW THAT PART OF YOUR BRAIN IS PRE-PROGRAMMED???

As scary a thought as it may be, this is a true statement! It’s not like we’re brainwashed or anything like that. It’s just the way we were made.

To prove this statement, here is a simple little test that won’t take but a few seconds. As you are reading this, or at your leisure, raise your right foot off the floor and move it in a clockwise direction. Now, with your right hand, pretend you are at a chalk board, and write the number 6. You’re foot will change directions and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it!

I’ll bet you tried again didn’t you?

Trust me – YOU CAN’T DO IT!

MERIDA MIKEY ON AIRPORT SECURITY

FAIR WARNING: IF ANIMATED NUDITY OFFENDS YOU, PLEASE LOG OUT AND GO TO: WWW.MARY_POPPINS.GET-A-LIFE.


There sure has been lots of talk lately about airport security, ultra-“violating” x-ray machines, and patting down/fondling by Homeland Security personnel working at airports.

I travel quite frequently, but personally, haven’t had the pleasure of going through this procedure of being x-rayed or patted down. I feel this way about it, those that complain the loudest would be the absolute first in line to again complain even louder about lack of security should some unfortunate situation happen on a flight.

You have to really ask yourself “what price safety and security”? If it means going through a “see-all” x-ray machine or getting patted down and/or fondled, so be it. Gentlemen, just close your eyes and pretend you’re getting a lap dance. (Don’t be overly concerned about who's doing the dancing.) And, don’t make a fool of yourself by trying to hand the inspector a ten dollar bill as a tip! Ladies, just think of it as a pre-flight massage/rub down and fly relaxed during your journey. And, no tipping!

There actually is an alternative to all this. You can book your flight on this new start-up airlines that I’m sure will “take off”!

I say whatever it takes to make the skies safe, I'm OK with it. How about you?

AGUINALDO: BONO NAVIDEÑO, OR TO US GRINGOS - CHRISTMAS BONUS!!

Yes, it is definitely that time of year. It all starts with the mail carriers who have their special day on November 12, Dia del Cartero. In your mail box, they will leave a card with a return envelope, preprinted with their name on it. (Convenient, huh?)

You simply insert your “gift” as a token of appreciation for their service for the past year. I think they must like me because I actually participate in giving, partially because I have always given to my mailman when in the States in appreciation for the services they provide, and partially out of fear that if I don’t give, I may never receive another piece of mail as long as I live in Mexico!

On the other hand, I readily give generously to my housekeeper who works for me fulltime, year round. She is an integral part of my adopted family that I have been fortunate enough to have for 23+ years now. She is a single mother and has two children and a small house that she supports on the salary I pay her. In addition, any special needs that arise, I take care of plus I help whenever I can throughout the year. Her Christmas bonus is above and beyond the norm, and includes several gifts for both her and the children. I do believe that it is more blessed to give than to receive and this is one way I can give back to the community that I have chosen to live in. Something I think we all should do.

If you live in Mexico and you have an employee such as a housekeeper, gardener, cook, driver, or just someone who stops by to help you with chores every now and then, you should consider paying an Aguinaldo. It is customary to do so here in the Yucatan and throughout Mexico as well. There are even formulas on the internet to ascertain the amount you should pay!

Basically, from what I have seen from others living here, the Aguinaldo is considered the “Thirteenth Pay”. That is, one months’ salary for either full or part time help. In addition, to the monetary part of the Aguinaldo, a gift, or gifts, are often given as a token of appreciation for loyal service and/or longevity of service, or both.

Aguinaldo’s are usually paid in Mid-November up to the first part of December and often represents the total “Christmas” the family will have, including food, drink, and gifts. Often, the children in the family will receive some new clothing as their gift and are absolutely delighted to do so! (Unlike some children “north of the border”.) Let’s face it, the people that work for us are generally poor and do the best they can with what they have. It doesn’t hurt to help. It feels GREAT!

You don’t have to give until it hurts, just give until it helps.

MERIDA MIKEY ON GIVING 100%

Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint. It goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions.

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then

H-A -R -D-W-O -R -K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K -N -O -W-L -E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5= 96%

But

A-T -T -I -T -U -D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B -U -L -L -S -H-I -T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S -S -K -I -S-S -I -N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7= 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

P.S. I didn't chek with the internet Gestapo, Snopes, to see if this is true.

SOME COMPLETELY WORTHLESS, MOSTLY USELESS, TRIVIAL INFORMATION FOR YOU TO PONDER

I present, for your reading enjoyment, some of the most worthless and useless "stuff" you have ever laid your eyes on! (But, it's fun!!!)

After reading this, you may just say "duh, I didn't know that." (But then again, who cares?) :-)

Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand

And "lollipop" is the longest word typed with your right hand. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". (Are you doubting this?)

Our eyes are always the same size from birth,

but our nose and ears never stop growing.

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?)

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). (Yep, I knew you were going to "do" this one.)

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. (You're not doubting this, are you?)

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious." (Yes, admit it, you are going to say, a e i o u)

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out)

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (Some days that's about what my memory span is.)

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.!)

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that also.)

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE 2 moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that.)

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

There are more chickens in the world than people.

Women blink more than me do.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance

Bonus!! All the ants in Africa weigh more than ALL the Elephants!!

Now you know (a little) more than you did before!! Go forth and be intelligent!

CAN YOU HELP FIND MOKITO????

MOIKITO IS MISSING - CAN YOU HELP FIND HIM?

A good friend of mine, Lin, is missing one of her cats. He's a friendly little guy and his name is Mokito.

He's been missing since October 23. He went out for his usual adventure, but hasn't returned yet!

He lives in Centro on Calle 75 between 66 and 68. If you have seen him, or know his whereabouts, please call Lin at 285-3935.

Thank you for any help you can give.

REFLECTIONS - FLORIDA AND THE ECONOMY

After just returning from almost a full month in Florida, I am really happy to be home here in Merida. Wow, what a difference in everything!

Florida remains hard hit in all aspects of the economy. The Real Estate market is essentially non-existent, there are no jobs, what few industrial endeavors were once flourishing are now closing or scaling way back adding to the already outrageous unemployment rates. Times are difficult for many.

One thing I did notice was the lack of homeless people on every street corner. On my previous visit, I was shocked by the amount of people, families included, who were begging for work or a few dollars donation on almost every major intersection in the city. I mentioned this to a friend and she told me that the city cracked down on these folks and literally put a stop to it all. It was giving the city a bad image. I have mixed emotions about this one, but it really was distressing to see all these unfortunate people who had reached their breaking points and had to beg for work and/or money on the streets. As I previously mentioned, times are difficult for many.

Retail stores have also scaled way back on the number of employees available to assist you. I was in one store, a very large store I might add, that did not have one person on the floor to assist you except for stock clerks who are now serving as sales persons when cornered by a customer. I managed to corner one and he was actually quite helpful in pointing me in the right direction. A few years ago, there was one sales person in every department! I guess you could say those were the good old days (?). It wasn’t much different in K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Target, or JC Penny’s. Not a soul around to help you and there were no crowds of shoppers to fight. The lack of sales clerks equates to more folks on the unemployment roles.

Restaurants are still closing, but one was actually reopening under a different name and new management. That was a bit encouraging. All service industries are feeling the economic crunch as evidenced by fewer employees to assist you and less services being offered. If someone quits, retires, or is dismissed, they generally are not replaced. A rather confusing scenario, but these small “mom and pop” businesses are doing their best to keep their doors open.

Prices in the grocery stores and at the gas pumps do not reflect the hard, economic times that are upon us. Prices continue to rise and there are no real “breaks” in prices anywhere, save for coupons. I witnessed lots of folks using coupons to do their grocery shopping, and I don’t blame them for doing so.

Florida is one of the States in the middle of extensive elections for Governor, Senate, and State Legislative positions as well as numerous local elections. Perhaps some change will come out of it all. We shall see and hope for the best.

Here in Merida, we feel the “trickle down” effects of the economic woes of the US, but economically speaking, I see things as being slightly brighter here in Merida than in Florida, save for the job market which still allows for “slave-labor” wages for the unskilled workers. You still get a bigger bang for your dollar here in Merida than in the US, but prices are slowly but surely creeping up every day, especially at the gas pumps and in the grocery stores. Having said that, I am still really glad to be home!

I’m not an economist, but I do consider myself somewhat observant. I hope things can start to turn around, not only for Florida but for the entire US. My heart goes out to those that are homeless or unemployed trying their best to raise a family. I can only imagine how difficult it is for them to exist on a day-to-day basis not knowing what tomorrow will bring. We can only hope and pray that the economy will turn around and these economic woes will fall by the wayside.