SOME NOTES FROM THE EDGE

IT HAS BEEN SAID THAT IF YOU'RE NOT "LIVING ON THE EDGE", THEN YOU'RE TAKING UP TOO MUCH SPACE!


NOTES FROM THE EDGE OF LIFE

Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely,

Unicorns

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Dear Twilight fans,

Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never have an erection.

Enjoy fantasizing about that.

Sincerely,

Logic

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Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely,

The Titanic

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Dear America ,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,

Canada

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Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." Just saying...

Sincerely,

Google

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Dear 2012,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely,

1985

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Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

Sincerely,

BP

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Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,

Please make one for every skin color.

Sincerely,

Black people

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Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely,

Sarah Palin

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Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely,

Nail Salon Ladies

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Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.

Sincerely,

Alcohol & Tobacco

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Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012.

Our calendars ended there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?

Sincerely,

The Mayans

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Dear White People,

Don't you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,

Native Americans

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Dear iPhone,

Please stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.

Sincerely,

Every iPhone User

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Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up....

Sincerely,

The Girls of Jersey Shore

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Dear Man,

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,

Elephant