WILD SEX IN MERIDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WILD SEX RUNS RAMPANT ON THE STREETS AND IN THE CANTINAS!!!

Now that I have your attention, I just want to let you know that I’ll be traveling during the next month and won’t be posting much of anything, if at all! However, when I return, I may have something to say! ‘Ya never know!

And by the way, I know of no wild sex in Merida and the only thing rampant on the streets and in the cantinas are chicklet/candy vendors!

I know, I know, disappointing, isn’t it?

Will chat again, soon.

SOME UPBEAT TALK ABOUT THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this and find it uplifting. There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ?

Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election?

Why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends.

You can brighten UP a room and polish UP the silver.

We warm UP the leftovers and then clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP old cars.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP!

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP! When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now. My time is UP, so......it is time to shut UP!

Oh . . . just one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?

U - P!!!!!!!!!

(OK, OK, I’ll go UP to my room.)

THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

Personally, I have toiled for years on end trying to learn Spanish. I have not been very successful and probably won’t get much better at it. But, I will continue to try.

Let’s face it, learning any foreign language is a most difficult task unless you are subjected to the language from a very early age. Learning the English language has got to be one of the most difficult languages a person can attempt.

For example, if you were a teacher, how would you approach the following and convey the meaning(s) to your students??

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Without a doubt, English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France .

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not just one amend?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

We have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

And I thought learning Spanish was difficult! Good luck to each and every one of you who are trying to learn English, or expand your knowledge of the language! It ain't easy, is it? (I feel the same way about learning Spanish!)

MERIDA MIKEY ON BLOGGING

Recently, I’ve had a few inquiries as to why I haven’t posted a new blog lately. Well, to be perfectly honest, I haven’t had too much to say! I do not blog just to “blog”. There is plenty, actually too much, of that going on out there. I find most of those daily blogs to be dull, boring, and mundane all wrapped up in one. I’m not saying that my blogs are any better, they just aren’t a daily dose of “today I got up and then went to bed”. Really, who cares???

I try to post upbeat things about the wonderful area I have chosen to live in and some of the things I have done that I find interesting and exciting. I could easily be employed by the local Chamber of Commerce if we had such a thing! I try very hard to avoid controversial subject matter, and will not post political or religious subject matter blogs. I also try extremely hard not to post negative blogs and complain and whine about everything from the weather to the lousy neighbors and the fact that life has dealt me a hand in poker that won’t get me to the poker finals. We all have our problems and our ups and downs, but I don’t think they routinely make for good reading.

Actually, I am signed in to Google Analytics and I track my readership. I normally have up to 1,000 readers from 35 – 40 different countries. There are many bloggers who have considerable more followers than me, but that is not my goal. My goal is to keep my family and friends informed of what is going on with me in my retirement. For those of you that enjoy my writings, thank you very much and I will do my best to continue to keep you posted!

I am currently working on two blogs that I think you will find interesting. Stay tuned!

DIVERSION EXCURSION: PUERTO SISAL, YUCATAN, MEXICO

Locally, “sisal” has two primary meanings. First, one may very well think of the rope or twine, known world wide as sisal. Secondly, Sisal is the name of a small, sleepy little fishing village on the coast of the Yucatan Peninsula.

This is a picture of the henequen plant from which the sisal twine is made.

This is a picture of some sisal rope. (These are actually hammock extensions used to tie your hammock to the special holder in the wall.)


But, that’s not what this blog is about! This blog is about a wonderful day I recently spent in the sleepy little fishing village of Sisal, just 52 kilometers (32 miles) from Merida. It is a pleasant one hour drive through some very interesting, small pueblos where I like to stop and buy fresh fruits and veggies from the local roadside stands.

At one time, during the peak of henequen and sisal production in the Yucatan, Sisal was a major port, booming in the export and import trade. With the onslaught of synthetic (nylon) fibers, jute twine lost its prominence as did the port of Sisal. There are no more large boats that dock there, just small individual fishing boats. There is no large henequen production going on locally, although the industry does survive to this day, producing twine, paper, cloth, wall coverings, carpets, and dart boards!

Sisal is an interesting place to visit with beautiful, unspoiled beaches that invite you to take a casual stroll and get that sugar-like white sand between your toes! There is no evidence of beach erosion in the entire area. The water is crystal clear and beckons you to take a dip to cool off before you visit one of the many great restaurants that serve fresh seafood.

My favorite restaurant is the RESTAURANTE MUELLE DE SISAL (The Pier of Sisal Restaurant) located directly on the beach. As you are driving in to Sisal, heading directly to the pier, there is a sign for the restaurant to the right. Hard to miss it! I don’t normally do restaurant reviews, but this place is totally outstanding including, location, ambiance, cleanliness, service, food, and prices. Oh! And the beer is always ice cold!! (But I’m sure that is not of primary importance to any of my readers!)

Botanas (appetizers) are free when you order a cerveza (beer), and consist of a variety of seafood delicacies. A large, fresh crab cocktail, is 75 pesos (approximately 6 USD). It is 100% crab meat with garnish of sauce, onions, and cilantro served on the side. A shrimp cocktail of equal size is the same price. The menu offers a wide variety of seafood entrees and slowly, but surely, I am working my through them! This is some of the absolute best seafood I have ever eaten in Mexico. It is well worth the drive to Sisal just to have a casual seafood lunch on the beach while enjoying a magnificent view and an ice cold brew! Another great value is a large pitcher of fresh lemonade for only 40 pesos (approximately 3 USD). You can well afford to take the family or invite your friends. (Below: Merida Mikey, indulging and imbibing.)

Although not a major destination for tourists and almost ignored, Sisal is an overlooked but very charming beach community with not much more to offer other than beautiful beaches, crystal clear water, friendly smiles, and a variety of great seafood restaurants. Who could ask for anything more?

In such close proximity to Merida, it is definitely worth a drive there to check it out for yourself. Personally, I’m hooked on Sisal!

REVISITED: IMMIGRATION REQUIREMENTS TO LIVE IN MEXICO

On March 7, 2010, after having just received my renewed FM-2, I blogged about the requirements to live in Mexico with the following caveat: “I’m slightly hesitant to post this, as the requirements seem to change quite frequently. I’m not so sure that the actual laws change that often, but the interpretation of the laws certainly seem to!”






Just a few weeks later on April 1, 2010, all hell broke loose and both the laws and procedures changed drastically, basically nullifying my post! I do wish to point out that if you are a first time applicant, you will still need to adhere to all the requirements I listed in my blog. Even though the laws and procedures have changed, those requirements still remain in place for first time applicants. I confirmed this from a friend who just received his first FM-3.







My friend Linda recently posted the new requirements and procedures now in place. For me to do to the same would be redundant, so I am referring you to her blog. It is two parts and she has done a totally outstanding job, including step-by-step instructions you will need to follow. It is the best information “out there” and definitely worth a review. It could save you lots of time, pain and suffering!






The new system appears to be more streamlined and the Mexican Government has lightened up on the requirements for renewals. I think they finally figured out that all we “extranjeros” do is live here and spend money!



YOU MUST CHECK OUT LINDA’S BLOGS. GO TO: http://ldorton.blogspot.com/







In closing, please refer to the caveat at the top of my blog!!!

MEMORABLE QUOTES FROM SOME VERY MEMORABLE FOLKS

I recently received the following quotes in the form of an e-mail from a former co-worker and good friend. I’ve received this one previously, perhaps two years ago, and enjoyed it so much that I was pleased to receive it again and I thought I’d share it with you.

Now, before you ask/criticize, I have not, repeat, have not, checked with the Internet Gestapo, SNOPES, to confirm the validity of these quotes. I’m passing them on not as the Gospel according to Mikey, but as an interesting take on life in general, be they true or false. I found them entertaining and hope you will too. (And by the way, how in the hell does SNOPES know so much and who gave them the absolute authority on all issues??? Who funds them??? Who are “they”???)

Here are some interesting and timeless "quotes" I hope you enjoy!



Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt

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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..

- Mark Twain

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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible

- George Burns

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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- Victor Borge

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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain

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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx

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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

- Jimmy Durante

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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

- Alex Levine

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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

- Rodney Dangerfield
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Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery

- Spike Milligan

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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .

- Joe Namath

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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.

- Bob Hope

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..

- W. C. Fields

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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

- Will Rogers

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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill

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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..

- Phyllis Diller

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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

- Billy Crystal

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And the cardiologist' s diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.


(A special thanks to RM for putting me back in touch with these very amusing quotes!)