The Adventures of Merida Mikey

SIGNS THAT MAKE YOU SMILE :-)

2012-01-23T11:41:00.000-08:00

I like to read other blogs to see what people think is worthy of a post. Some rant, others rave, some give recipes or favorite places to eat, while others outline their daily routines. I find some extremely boring and others quite interesting and even entertaining. I guess you could say, something for everyone. Me, I like to smile. I like it even better when I can laugh. I hope these signs will make you smile or laugh.

Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:

"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

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In a Podiatrist's office:

"Time wounds all heels."

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On a Septic Tank Truck:

Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

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At a Proctologist's door:

"To expedite your visit, please back in. "

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On a Plumber's truck:

"We repair what your husband fixed."

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On another Plumber's truck:

"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

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On a Church's Bill board:

"7 days without God makes one weak."

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At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee :

"Invite us to your next blowout."

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At a Towing company:

"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.."

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On an Electrician's truck:

"Let us remove your shorts.."

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In a Nonsmoking Area:

"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

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On a Maternity Room door:

"Push. Push. Push."

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At an Optometrist's Office:

"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."

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On a Taxidermist's window:

"We really know our stuff."

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On a Fence:

"Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!"

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At a Car Dealership:

"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

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Outside a Muffler Shop:

"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

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In a Veterinarian's waiting room:

"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

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At the Electric Company

"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.

However, if you don't, you will be."

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In a Restaurant window:

"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

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In the front yard of a Funeral Home:

"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

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At a Propane Filling Station:

"Thank heaven for little grills."

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And don't forget the sign at a

CHICAGO RADIATOR SHOP:

"Best place in town to take a leak."

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Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:

"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"

I hope you found one sign that at least made you smile!

PONDERISMS

2012-01-16T08:14:00.000-08:00

Don't stay up nights worrying about any of this! :-)

Can you cry under water?

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?

Why do you have to 'put your two cents in'... but it's only a 'penny for your thoughts'? Where's that extra penny going to?

Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for eternity?

Why does a round pizza come in a square box?

What disease did cured ham actually have?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up like every two hours?

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?

Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you naked anyway...

Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours?
They're both dogs!

If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he just buy dinner?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?

Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why, Why, Why

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough money?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes?

Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?

Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?

Why do people constantly return to the refrigerator with hopes that something new to eat will have materialized?

Why do people keep running over a string a dozen times with their vacuum cleaner, then reach down, pick it up, examine it, then put it down to give the vacuum one more chance?

Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end on your first try?

How do those dead bugs get into those enclosed light fixtures?

Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?

In winter why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?

And my FAVORITE.........

The statistics on sanity is that one out of every four persons are suffering from some sort of mental illness. Think of your three best friends -- if they're okay, then it's you.

RENEWING YOUR MEXICAN LICENSE PLATES IN MERIDA, YUCATAN

2012-01-05T17:09:00.000-08:00

Recently, the laws have changed regarding most things associated with driving in the Yucatan. In fact, the new laws and amendments include 288 pages of changes and additions. While most things have changed, some laws have remained in place. I will not attempt to interpret these 288 pages of changes for you. However, I do recommend that you check out the excellent article published in Yucatan Living regarding the same subject. Check out www.yucatanliving.com . Read their article on “New Yucatan Road Rules”.

I am going to tell you of my very recent experience renewing my license plates here in Merida. In past years, you basically just had to show up with a few copies of this or that, and your money. Not anymore. It is a much more sophisticated and complicated system.

There are five (5) different locations you can go to here in Merida, and eight (8) others located throughout the State of Yucatan. I chose to go to the Convention Center, SIGLO XXI, in Merida. It’s easy to get to and has ample parking facilities. I’ve been there before and have never had to wait more than just a few minutes for my turn. Wow, that too, has changed! Be forewarned that lines are long and frustration reigns.

MY FIRST VISIT: From past experiences, I had copies of everything I “thought” I might need. (Foolish me.) When it was my turn, the young lady who waited on me asked for more papers than I had brought. My fault, I concluded, and off I went to return home and gather the rest of the goodies.

MY SECOND VISIT: I returned the next day with the additional papers I was informed I needed. Because I had been there the day before, I got to see the same young lady again. I handed her the additional paperwork she had requested the day before, and after checking it closely and asking someone I perceived to be a supervisor, it was determined that I was once again paperwork deficient. I asked her to please write down just exactly what it was that I needed and I would get it and return the next day. I was missing only one item according to her note. So, off I go back home to retrieve the additional paper I needed. I went immediately to the copy store and made sure I had copies of everything that was requested of me. I even checked it all twice, just in case. Good to go, I thought. (Foolish me, again.)

MY THIRD VISIT: Once again, because I had become a known and easily recognizable repeat customer/offender, I got to see the same young lady again. She scrutinized each and every paper I had previously given her pausing only to ask her supervisor (again) if something or the other was acceptable, or correct. I thought, geesh – we just went through this yesterday and the day before! Collectively, they confirmed that I had passed all their tests and was ready to go. I was elated and wanted to stand up and do the “yesss, I got it dance”. However, quickly realizing that would be somewhat inappropriate given the obvious frustrations of approximately 150 others who were waiting and probably in situations similar to mine, I decided against it.

With the myriad of paperwork finally accomplished, I was given a tiny piece of paper and directed to another area to actually pay for my plate renewal. Once again, each piece of paper was scrutinized and a supervisor was called over to confirm that everything was legitimate and in order. At this point, I am now slightly irritated. This coupled with my previous frustrations, could have made for a difficult situation. However, I managed a smile and asked what the problem was. The guy told me I needed another copy of my driver’s license and a copy of my immigration papers! At this point in time, I’m sure my blood pressure rose at least a few points both diastolic and systolic.

I informed him that he had all of that in front of him in the package of papers I just gave him. He acknowledged that affirmatively, but stated he needed copies to cash me out. I asked why the girl didn’t tell me that yesterday and showed him her note of what items were missing. My irritation and frustration must have shown because he now started to speak fluent English to me. I explained that this was my third trip and each time I was told to bring something different, but was never told to bring more copies of what he was asking for. Long story short, he made copies for me realizing that the system was new to everyone and it was obvious others were as irritated and frustrated as I was. I paid 204 pesos (approximately $15.10 US) for the renewal fees, was given my new certificate and off I went. I did give the guy a tip for helping me as he could easily have made me come back a fourth time.

In addition to a nice smile and lots of patience, here is what you need to bring with you when you go to renew your Mexican license plates in the Yucatan:

1. The ORIGINAL and one (1) copy of a receipt for telephone, water, or electric with your name on it. They matched the name and address on the bill with other papers I gave them.

2. The ORIGINAL and two (2) copies of your Immigration document (FM-2, FM-3, etc.) One copy is for the initial review and one is for the cashier.

3. The ORIGINAL and two (2) copies of your Mexican driver’s license. If you do not have a Mexican driver’s license, you may need the ORIGINAL and two (2) copies of your passport in addition to the ORIGINAL and two (2) copies of a current driver’s license from your country of origin. I asked this question, but no one would commit to a confirmed answer. Again, one copy of your Mexican driver’s license is for the initial review and one is for the cashier.

4. The ORIGINAL and one (1) copy of your current insurance policy. No insurance – no renewal. This is a new requirement and is part of the recent 288 pages of legal changes that were recently enacted.

5. The ORIGINAL and one (1) copy of last years’ receipt for payment of tenencia (vehicle tax) or license plate renewal.

Here’s hoping you can do it all in just one trip! Good luck and happy motoring!

MERIDA MIKEY ON NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS

2011-12-29T10:09:00.000-08:00

Over the years, I’ve made hundreds of resolutions to ring in the New Year and have somehow managed to break almost every one of them and usually by no later than Valentine’s Day! However, I no longer make resolutions that I know I am unable to keep, save for one single resolution I make every year and I always manage to keep it. I’d like to share that resolution with you, and perhaps you’d consider making it one of your resolutions for 2012, and always.

My single resolution is:

“I promise myself to perform a random act of kindness.”

That’s it - plain and simple. I hope you will add my resolution to your list.

On a slightly lighter note, a new year is time to reflect on life and find inner peace. A dear friend of mine recently sent me an e-mail that I would like to also share with you about inner peace. Many thanks to MR for sharing this with me.

I'm passing this on because it worked for me today. A Dr. on TV said to have inner peace we should always finish things we start & we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked around my house to find things I'd started & hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiuminun scriptins, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum i luvum

Here’s hoping that 2012 will prove to be one of your best years ever and may you find that inner peace we all so desperately seek.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2012

MIKEY'S MARKET TIPS FOR 2012

2011-12-11T09:59:00.000-08:00

For all of you with any money left, be aware of the next expected mergers so that you can get in on the ground floor and make some BIG bucks.

Watch for these consolidations in 2012:

1. Hale Business Systems, Mary Kay Cosmetics, Fuller Brush, and W. R. Grace Co. will merge and become: Hale, Mary, Fuller, Grace.

2. Polygram Records, Warner Bros., and Zesta Crackers join forces and become: Poly, Warner Cracker.

3. 3M will merge with Goodyear and become: MMMGood.

4. Zippo Manufacturing, Audi Motors, Dofasco, and Dakota Mining will merge and become: ZipAudiDoDa.

5. FedEx is expected to join its competitor, UPS, and become: FedUP.

6. Fairchild Electronics and Honeywell Computers will become: Fairwell Honeychild.

7. Grey Poupon and Docker Pants are expected to become: Poupon Pants.

8. Knotts Berry Farm and the National Organization of Women will become: Knott NOW!

And finally.....

9. Victoria 's Secret and Smith & Wesson will merge under the new name: TittyTittyBangBang

AND REMEMBER - YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST! NOW GET OUT THERE AND MAKE SOME BIG BUCKS!

SIHUNCHEN: THE MAYAN RUIN I ALMOST SAW!

2011-11-18T12:02:00.000-08:00

If you are in Merida and are driving on the sole road that leads to Sisal or Celestun, or one or more of the pueblos in between, you will pass by a lonely roadside sign with a pyramid and an arrow pointing down a dusty, stone road. I had passed that sign many times and curiosity finally got the best of me and I decided I would take the challenge and head for the ruin.

As soon as I turned off the paved road, I found myself wishing that my vehicle was four-wheel drive or that I had a pick-up truck! The road is pretty much unattended, full of pot holes and very difficult on your tires.

It seemed like a forever drive down that long, dusty road, in and out of pot holes, but finally I saw some people moving around, a few houses, some farm animals, and even a tiny pueblo (of sorts). There was a very old hacienda that offered its services for parties and social events. I wondered who in the world could find the place!

The road dead-ended here and there were no other indications of any Mayan ruin to be had, so I asked one of the locals who gladly told me to turn to the right. Following his directions, I continued my journey. Ahh! Finally! I saw an archway with the name of the ruin, and I decided that I had hit pay dirt and found it.

I parked and quickly noticed that I was the sole motor vehicle in sight. As I approached what appeared to be the entry way, I saw that it was blocked off with a gate made of galvanized aluminum fencing. There wasn’t a soul to be found. It looked eerily deserted.

I began yelling “bueno”, which is the local way and custom of saying hello, anyone home. (I should readily point out that the word “bueno” is used in several forms of communication here in the Yucatan, although in literal translation, it means "good".)

After several very loud “buenos” a small, elderly Mayan man peered through some bushes and proceeded to the gate to greet me. He had been cutting some of the over-grown shrubs and he proudly announced that he was the caretaker. I asked if the site were open and he said no, the owner wasn’t here.

Owner, I thought? No one actually owns an historical archeological site. They are all owned and operated by the Mexican Government, save for some cenotes that are on privately owned land. I questioned him further and learned that the only time the site is available is when the owner is on premises. It seems that there are some cabins or lodges or some such similar habitats back in the over growth, and the owner does not permit anyone to enter unless it is under his supervision. Weird, really weird I thought.

I offered the caretaker a tip, well actually it was a bribe, to see if he would permit me to enter and take a few pictures and he cordially and politely absolutely refused as he feared losing his job. I understood his dilemma, thanked him and gave him a tip just for his time. He was grateful and went about his chore of cutting back some of the abundant shrubbery that seemed to be taking over.

I did take one picture and it is the one at the top of this post. I have no idea what lurks behind those man made arches, down the winding and overgrown pathways and through the woods, but I don’t think I will ever find out as I am not inclined to go back there for a second try, at least not in the very near future.

So, if you are in the area and manage to visit the ruins of Sihunchen, let me know what, and how, they were. Until then, I will remain forever curious!

AGUINALDO: BONO NAVIDEÑO, OR TO US GRINGOS - CHRISTMAS BONUS!!

2011-11-12T14:32:00.000-08:00

It was just about this time last year that I published this post about aguinaldos for mail carriers and employees, be they part or full-time. I believe it is worth publishing again as a reminder to all of us living in Mexico. So, here it is again:

Yes, it is definitely that time of year. It all starts with the mail carriers who have their special day on November 12, Dia del Cartero. In your mail box, they will leave a card with a return envelope, preprinted with their name on it. (Convenient, huh?)

You simply insert your “gift” as a token of appreciation for their service for the past year. I think they must like me because I actually participate in giving, partially because I have always given to my mailman when in the States in appreciation for the services they provide, and partially out of fear that if I don’t give, I may never receive another piece of mail as long as I live in Mexico!On the other hand, I readily give generously to my housekeeper who works for me fulltime, year round. She is an integral part of my adopted family that I have been fortunate enough to have for 23+ years now. She is a single mother and has two children and a small house that she supports on the salary I pay her. In addition, any special needs that arise, I take care of plus I help whenever I can throughout the year. Her Christmas bonus is above and beyond the norm, and includes several gifts for both her and the children. I do believe that it is more blessed to give than to receive and this is one way I can give back to the community that I have chosen to live in. Something I think we all should do.

If you live in Mexico and you have an employee such as a housekeeper, gardener, cook, driver, or just someone who stops by to help you with chores every now and then, you should consider paying an Aguinaldo. It is customary to do so here in the Yucatan and throughout Mexico as well. There are even formulas on the internet to ascertain the amount you should pay!

Basically, from what I have seen from others living here, the Aguinaldo is considered the “Thirteenth Pay”. That is, one months’ salary for either full or part time help. In addition, to the monetary part of the Aguinaldo, a gift, or gifts, are often given as a token of appreciation for loyal service and/or longevity of service, or both.

Aguinaldo’s are usually paid in Mid-November up to the first part of December and often represents the total “Christmas” the family will have, including food, drink, and gifts. Often, the children in the family will receive some new clothing as their gift and are absolutely delighted to do so! (Unlike some children “north of the border”.) Let’s face it, the people that work for us are generally poor and do the best they can with what they have. It doesn’t hurt to help. It feels GREAT!

You don’t have to give until it hurts, just give until it helps.

E-MAIL TRACKER PROGRAMS - AVOID THEM AT ALL COSTS!

2011-11-10T07:42:00.000-08:00

By now, I suspect everyone is familiar with http://www.snopes.com/ and/or http://www.truthorfiction.com/ for determining whether information received via email is just that: true/false or fact/fiction. Both are excellent sites.Advice from snopes.com VERY IMPORTANT!!

1) Any time you see an email that says "forward this on to '10' (or however many) of your friends", "sign this petition", or "you'll get bad luck" or "you'll get good luck" or "you'll see something funny on your screen after you send it" or whatever --- it almost always has an email tracker program attached that tracks the cookies and emails of those folks you forward to. The host sender is getting a copy each time it gets forwarded and then is able to get lists of 'active' email addresses to use in SPAM emails or sell to other Spammers. Even when you get emails that demand you send the email on if you're not ashamed of God/Jesus --- that is email tracking, and they are playing on our conscience. These people don't care how they get your email addresses - just as long as they get them. Also, emails that talk about a missing child or a child with an incurable disease "how would you feel if that was your child" --- email tracking. Ignore them and don't participate!

2) Almost all emails that ask you to add your name and forward on to others are similar to that mass letter years ago that asked people to send business cards to the little kid in Florida who wanted to break the Guinness Book of Records for the most cards. All it was, and all any of this type of email is, is a way to get names and 'cookie' tracking information for telemarketers and Spammers -- to validate active email accounts for their own profitable purposes.
You can do your Friends and Family members a GREAT favor by sending this information to them. You will be providing a service to your friends. And you will be rewarded by not getting thousands of spam emails in the future!

Do yourself a favor and STOP adding your name(S) to those types of listing regardless how inviting they might sound! Or make you feel guilty if you don't! It's all about getting email addresses and nothing more.

You may think you are supporting a GREAT cause, but you are NOT! Instead, you will be getting tons of junk mail later and very possibly a virus attached! Plus, we are helping the Spammers get rich! Let's not make it easy for them!

ALSO: Email petitions are NOT acceptable to Congress of any other organization - i.e. Social security, etc. To be acceptable, petitions must have a "signed signature" and full address of the person signing the petition, so this is a waste of time and you are just helping the email trackers.

So, effectively immediately, I will no longer forward any of this junk so please don't send it to me. In the past, I have always felt slightly guilty if I didn't do it, but not any more. So, I guess that means that Jesus will no longer love me because he thinks I'm ashamed of him, I won't be rich in three days, the issue won't be recognized because I didn't sign the petition, I don't really love my country, good luck will never knock on my door, and my genitals may fall off. Life can be difficult, for sure, but I say to hell with spammers and I hope you will too.

A FUN FACT FOR EACH OF THE 50 US STATES (UNVERIFIED)

2011-10-30T17:39:00.000-07:00

Although unverified, some of this stuff rings true. In any event, it's fun! Find your home State and see what you think. For my readers from other than the US, learn some interesting things about the United States.

ALABAMA .................. Was the first place to have 9-1-1, started in 1968. (Probably to get fast medical aid to injured football players and fans!)

ALASKA ..................... One out of every 64 people has a pilot's license. (And that's probably because they couldn't pass their driver's license test on those icy roads!)

ARIZONA ................... Is the only state in the continental U.S.
that doesn't follow Daylight Savings Time. (I wish other States would follow Arizona's lead!)

ARKANSAS ................ Has the only active diamond mine in the U.S. (I know some women who'll move there after reading this!)

CALIFORNIA .............. Its economy is so large that if it were a
country, it would rank 7th in the entire world. (I think California should be a separate country!)

COLORADO ................ In 1976 it became the only state to turn
down the Olympics. (There's got to be a good reason for this, but I sure can't think of one!)

CONNECTICUT ........... The Frisbee was invented here at Yale University. (Now who who would have thunk that! A flying saucer, maybe, but a frisbee?)

DELAWARE .............. Has more scientists and engineers than any other state. (The question begs to be asked: WHY?)

FLORIDA .................At 874.3 square miles, Jacksonville is the
US's largest city. (And, from living in Florida for many a year, I'll add "and is the birthplace of the Early Bird Dinner Special! And is lovingly referred to as the land of the newly wed and nearly dead!")

GEORGIA .................... It was here, in 1886, that pharmacist
John Pemberton made the first vat of Coca-Cola. (I recall reading somewhere that the original batches actually contained cocaine and were sold for medicinal purposes. No wonder everyone liked it so much that it became the number one selling beverage in the world!)

HAWAII ..................... Hawaiians live, on average, five years
longer than residents of any other state. (Could it be because they get more leys than the rest of us? Nahhh, it's got to have something to do with the weather or the volcanic ash!)

IDAHO ....................... TV was invented in Rigby, Idaho, in 1922.
(And the world went downhill from there.)

ILLINOIS ...................Has a Governor in jail, one pending jail & is perhaps the most corrupt state in the union. (And we elected a President from that State! Makes you wonder.)

INDIANA ...Home to Santa Claus, Indiana , which gets a half million letters to Santa every year. (What do they do with all that unfowardable mail?)

IOWA .............Winnebago get their name from Winnebago County . Also, it is the only state that begins with two vowels. (Has anyone from Iowa ever won a spelling bee?)

KANSAS .................Liberal, Kansas , has an exact replica of the
house in The Wizard of Oz. (Who lives in that house????)

KENTUCKY .............Has more than $6 billion in gold underneath Fort Knox. (GOOD GRIEF! Don't remind the politicians because they'll want to tax it or spend it!)

LOUISIANA .............Has parishes instead of counties because they
were originally Spanish church units. (Only one out of 50 isn't bad. I guess they march to the beat of a different drummer!)

MAINE ...................... It's so big, it covers as many square
miles as the other five New England states combined. (If you look at the tiny size of the other five, that's not that big of an accomplishment!)

MARYLAND .............. The Ouija board was created in Baltimore in 1892. ("Oui" being French for yes, and "ja" being German for yes, I would have guessed Europe!)

MASSACHUSETTS ....... The Fig Newton is named after Newton , Mass and where the first chocolate chip cookie was created. (Is this also where Wayne Newton was born? Probably not.)

MICHIGAN .....Fremont, home to Gerber, is the baby food capital of the world. (One has to wonder how many babies they have fed since their inception. I'm guessing eleventeen gazillion.)

MINNESOTA ............ Bloomington 's Mall of America is so big, if
you spent 10 minutes in each store, you'd be there nearly four days.
(In the middle of a Minnesota winter, it may take you four days to just drive there!)

MISSISSIPPI ............. President Teddy Roosevelt refused to shoot a bear here .... that's how the teddy bear got its name. (Good for you, Mr. President! I'm pretty much against hunting myself.)

MISSOURI ............... Is the birthplace of the ice cream cone. (I knew there was something I really liked about this State! Show me the cone! A chocolate one, please.)

MONTANA .............A sapphire from Montana is in the Crown Jewels of England. (I SAY LET'S GET THE DAMN THING BACK HOME WHERE IT BELONGS! And any jobs that went along with it, too!)

NEBRASKA ............... More triplets are born here than in any other state. (Good grief! I'm glad I never lived there!)

NEW HAMPSHIRE ...... Birthplace of Tupperware, invented in 1938 by Earl Tupper. (A true All-American invention that helped change the world and made it a better place. Thanx Earl!)

NEW JERSEY ............ Has the most shopping malls in one area in the world. (Guys, if you can't find your wife, mother, or daughter, try looking somewhaere in Jersey!)

NEW MEXICO ............ Smokey the Bear was rescued from a 1950 forest fire here. (Weird. I never knew there was a real "Smokey The Bear"!)

NEW YORK ................ Is home to the nation's oldest cattle ranch,
started in 1747 in Montauk. (I'm sure there are tons of Texans who'd dispute this one!)

NORTH CAROLINA ..... Home of the first Krispy Kreme doughnut. (God Bless America, and especially NC and Krispy Kreme. Amen!)

NORTH DAKOTA ....... Rugby , North Dakota , is the exact geographic center of North America . (Who measures this stuff? And what kind of a ruler do they use?)

OHIO ......................... The hot dog was invented here in 1900. (And I'm sure there are lots of New Yorkers who'd dispute this one!)

OKLAHOMA ............... The grounds of the state capital are covered by operating oil wells. (How pretty is that!?!)

OREGON .................... Has the most ghost towns in the country. (Now that rings spooky!)

PENNSYLVANIA ......... The smiley, : ) was first used in 1980 by
computer scientists at Carnegie Mellon University. (Gee, is that all they could come up with?)

RHODE ISLAND ......... The nation's oldest bar, the White Horse
Tavern, opened here in 1673. (God Bless America and especially Rhode Island and the White Horse Tavern. Amen!)

SOUTH CAROLINA ..... Sumter County is home to the world's largest gingko farm. (Wow! How did I make it this far without knowing that!?!)

SOUTH DAKOTA ....... Is the only state that's never had an earthquake. (Given the Law of Averages, watch out South Dakota! The next rumbling you feel may not be from your neighbor's snow blower or tractor!)

TENNESSEE ................ Nashville's Grand Ole Opry is the longest
running live radio show in the world. (And without a doubt, the best, too!)

TEXAS ....................... Dr. Pepper was invented in Waco back in
1885. The Hamburger was invented in Arlington in 1906. (Now this tidbit of information is really strange - Dr. Pepper and hamburgers? Two things I wouldn't immediately associate Texas with!)

UTAH ........................ The first Kentucky Fried Chicken
restaurant opened here in 1952. (Hmmmm, I would have guessed Kentucky! Makes more sense to me than Utah!)

VERMONT ..............Montpelier is the only state capital without a McDonald's. (Way to go, Montpelier!)

VIRGINIA ............Home of the world's largest office building...The Pentagon. (I never thought of the Pentagon as an "office building" before!)

WASHINGTON...............Seattle has twice as many college graduates as any other state. (Perhaps that's because there is absolutely nothing else to do in Washington?)

WASHINGTON D.C. .... Was the first planned capital in the world.
(And it worked. Well, it used to work.)

WEST VIRGINIA ......... Had the world's first brick paved street,
Summers Street, laid in Charleston in 1870. (A dubious distinction for this Blue Ridge Mountain state!)

WISCONSIN ............... The ice cream sundae was invented here
in1881 to get around Blue Laws prohibiting ice cream from being sold on Sundays. (God bless America and especially Wisconsin and the ice cream sundae. Amen!)

WYOMING .................Was the first state to allow women to vote.
(No comment!!!)

Note: A special thanks to my friend MR for sending the original
e-mail to me. I took the liberty of adding comments in parentheses.)

G-R-O-A-N-E-R-S-

2011-10-12T10:07:00.000-07:00

If these don't make you groan, I recommend doubling up on your meds and asking your therapist for more weekly sessions! :-)

Groan away:

1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in LinoleumBlownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

20. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

21. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says,"I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

22. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

If these didn't solicit a groan, go ahead and moan!

SOME WORTHLESS, BUT INTERESTING, FACTS THAT YOU ACTUALLY COULD LIVE WITHOUT!

2011-10-04T07:36:00.000-07:00

(And NO, I did not check any of this out with Snopes, the Internet Nazi!)

Q: Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left?

A: When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right! And that's where women's buttons have remained since.

Q: Why do ships and aircraft use 'mayday' as their call for help?

A: This comes from the French word m'aidez -meaning 'help me' -- and is pronounced, approximately, 'mayday.'

Q: Why are zero scores in tennis called 'love'?

A: In France , where tennis became popular, round zero on the scoreboard looked like an egg and was called 'l'oeuf,' which is French for 'egg.' When tennis was introduced in the US , Americans (mis)pronounced it 'love.' (Ya gotta "love" those French!)

Q. Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses?

A: In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfil obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous. (I wonder where the "O" for hug came from?) XOXOXOXO

Q: Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called 'passing the buck'?

A: In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing, he would 'pass the buck' to the next player. (I know people like this.)

Q: Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast?

A: It used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would only touch or clink the host's glass with his own.

Q: Why are people in the public eye said to be 'in the limelight'?

A: Invented in 1825, limelight was used in lighthouses and theatres by burning a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the theatre, a performer 'in the limelight' was the center of attention.

Q: Why is someone who is feeling great 'on cloud nine'?

A: Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud. If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares. (I know people like this, too!)

Q: In golf, where did the term 'caddie' come from?

A. When Mary, Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl, Louis, King of France , learned that she loved the Scots' game 'golf.' So he had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when she returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced 'ca-day' and the Scots changed it into 'caddie.'

Q: Why are many coin banks shaped like pigs?

A: Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of a dense orange clay called 'pygg'. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as 'pygg banks.' When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a container that resembled a pig and it caught on. (Leave it to the English to get i confused!)

Q: Did you ever wonder why dimes, quarters and half dollars have notches (milling), while pennies and nickels do not?

A: The US Mint began putting notches on the edges of coins containing gold and silver to discourage holders from shaving off small quantities of the precious metals. Dimes, quarters and half dollars are notched because they used to contain silver. Pennies and nickels aren't notched because the metals they contain are not valuable enough to shave.

So there! Now you know! Thrilled?

OH, IT'S BEGINNING TO LOOK A LOT LIKE . . . . .

2011-09-26T11:57:00.000-07:00

If you guessed “Christmas”, you’re correct!

The first week of SEPTEMBER, my favorite super market, Mega, started putting out their Christmas displays. I was, and still am, appalled. If you do the math, that’s approximately 4 months before Christmas! Other stores are following suit, or even leading in the pursuit.

I understand the retail side of this story, but unfortunately, I’m not convinced that the retailers understand the other side. Growing up, I was taught both the religious and “retail” aspects of Christmas. Gift giving was always from the heart, not the wallet, and certainly didn’t start the day after Labor Day! We actually celebrated the birth of Jesus. Family and friends were always at the top of the list of priorities, and fond memories of family gatherings still linger in my heart and soul. I don’t think many people do that anymore and they have lost sight of the real meaning of Christmas and they have taken Christ out of Christmas.

I’m not being over-zealous here, and I’m not preaching, honestly. To each his/her own and I won’t sit in judgment of your personal beliefs. I guess I’m just ranting about going to the store to buy some fruits and veggies and having to pass by Christmas displays in September when it is still in the 90’s here in Merida! I'm thinking "air conditioning" not Christmas decorations. I think it is too early to get into the Christmas Spirit, even from a retail point of view. I honestly try to keep the spirit of Christmas alive all year long. Sometimes, I fail miserably and other times I am quite successful at doing so. But, I do try.

I just don’t need to be reminded in early September that Christmas is “only” 4 months away. Do they think I don’t have enough time to shop? Do they think I jmight just forget? Do they think I’m actually going to buy Christmas ornaments in September? Not!

I wonder how early they’ll start next year? It seems like every year it is earlier and earlier. The retailers will coninue to display their Christmas items and I will continue to rant.

Ho-Ho-Ho.

DIVERSION EXCURSION: GUATEMALA (PART II, THE FINAL INSTALLMENT)

2011-09-18T07:43:00.000-07:00

Let me take a step back before proceeding. After I did my research on line, booked and paid for both the flight and the hotel, my good friend Lin D. offered to lend me a copy of her Travelocity Guide Book on Guatemala. She had visited there a few years ago and purchased the book then, so it was rather up-to-date. She enjoyed her short stay there and had no problems. I readily accepted her offer and began devouring each page, eager to learn more about my vacation destination. There were some of the same warnings regarding travel and safety that I found on line, including ATM scams and fraud. This didn’t really bother me because this sort of thing goes on in every city, world-wide.

The guide book was touting inexpensive lodging and meals, neither of which I found. In fact, I thought everything in Guatemala was way overpriced for an emerging third-world country in Central America. (If that statement hurts anyone’s feeling, sorry, but that is my personal opinion.) I base this on the fact that I do consider myself an experienced traveler, not a tourist. When inquiring about restaurants and the like, the good folks at the hotel told me of some rather inexpensive restaurants, but cautioned me not to go to that part of town, day or night. They provided some acceptable alternatives even though I found the prices were a bit out of line with the overall environment and quality of food.

We settled on one of the restaurants the hotel recommended and they called a taxi cab for us. It was just getting dark and traffic remained heavy. We arrived at the restaurant and I was pleasantly surprised to find a variety of dishes on the menu. I was also surprised to find an armed guard at the door and one roaming around the restaurant while you tried to enjoy your evening meal! We ordered a platter for two consisting of some local sausages, some beef, a small potato and a few trimmings. Tortillas were served with the meal. Not to my liking as they were small, very thick and quite chewy. The bill, including beverages, was almost $40.00. The atmosphere and food quality did not equal the price. We had the cell phone number of the taxi and the restaurant gladly called the same driver to pick us up.

We decided to stop at a small store to pick up a few snacks and soft drinks to have in the room as the hotel offered nothing except the two-egg breakfast. The driver took us to a store just a few blocks from the hotel, but we couldn’t go in! We could approach, walk by the scrutinizing eye of the armed guard, and order through heavy metal bars protecting the workers, the stock, and the cash register. I found the same thing at a nearby drug store. This was weird I thought. Nevertheless, we got our goodies and off we went. I had also noticed that even the trucks that delivered bottled water, or any other service vehicle for that matter that collected money on its route, had an armed guard. Sawed off shotguns and automatic weapons were the weapons of choice.

The next morning, it was the two-egg breakfast, and off to the bank to change US dollars into Guatemalan Quetzels. Mexican pesos are not accepted. The hotel arranged transportation and the taxi took us to the bank, parked and agreed to wait for us. Entering the bank was probably tantamount to entering Fort Knox. Locked doors and armed guards both in and outside of the bank actually gave me an uneasy sense of false security. After doing all the paperwork including showing your passport, making copies, etc., and so on, we stood in line at the teller to get the Quetzels. ( I’ll inject a personal note here. My entire stay in Guatemala was a state of confusion when it came to money. I was continuously converting Quetzels to US dolalrs at the rate of 7.5 to one, and then converting the dollars to Mexican pesos at the rate of 12 to one, to get a feel for the price of things. I’m not exactly sure how all that worked out for me and I didn’t really stay around long enough to find out or care for that matter.)

I changed $400.00 US dollars into Quetzels and wound up with a whole bunch of paper money of varying denominations. I was grateful that it all fit into the security pouch I carried around my neck and I put about $50.00 worth of Quetzels in my pocket. It was back to the hotel to unload some of the money into the safe in the room and re-secure our passports. We then decided to go to the local market to search for treasures. Again, the hotel staff arranged a cab for us with warnings about safety and security in the market. Again, I found this a bit un-nerving, but heeded their warnings.

I read in the guide book about the markets and the warnings about pickpockets and thieves scouring the market places for unsuspecting tourists. I was surprised to learn that the children also practiced pickpocketing! I also found a reference to the US Embassy web page that posted warnings about travel and crime in Guatemala. Having exhausted most of my research, I decided to go to this web page, and was absolutely in a state of shock with what I found there. After reading just a few entries, I knew that I would not have gone to Guatemala had I read this first. It was too late to cancel as it was already paid for. Mind you, this comes from the US Embassy and not just opinions of tourists and travelers. That web site is:

http://guatemala.usembassy.gov/recent_incidents.html
(Note: you may have to copy and paste this into your browser)

THIS IS AN ABSOLUTE MUST READ FOR ANYONE CONSIDERING A TRIP TO GUATEMALA. ALSO, BE MINDFUL THAT THESE ARE ONLY CRIMES THAT HAVE BEEN REPORTED, AND THEN, ONLY TO ONE OF SEVERAL FOREIGN EMBASSY’S IN THE CAPITOL CITY OF GUATEMALA.

Now, I was actually afraid for my safety and reviewed my travel plans accordingly. While in Guatemala, there were definitely two things I wanted to do. One was to see Antigua and the other was to experience the market in Chichicastenango. We managed to do both but opted for private transportation via one of the taxi drivers from the hotel, which meant spending a lot more money to get there and back. All other travel plans were cancelled, and with no regrets. After reading the US Embassy’s web page, it became quite apparent to me why banks and stores looked like mini fortresses, well-armed and overly guarded.

You may find this boring, shocking, a little over the top, or unnecessary, but I am copying the entries just for the first three weeks of August 2011, from the US Embassy web page for your review:

08/20/2011 Guatemala City, Zone 14: Unknown individuals broke into a resident’s vehicle and stole a briefcase.

08/19/2011 Antigua, Sacatepéquez: Two knife-wielding men stole a tourist’s purse.

08/19/2011 Carretera a El Salvador, Santa Elena Barillas, Guatemala: At approximately 7:30pm, a pickup truck with five men pulled in front of three tourists’ vehicle and forced them to stop. Three men exited the truck and fired shots into the air. The armed men forced their way into the group’s vehicle, drove to a deserted country road, and raped two female tourists. The assailants later stole the tourists’ money and departed.

08/18/2011 Antigua, Sacatepéquez: At approximately 12:30am, on the corner of 6a. Avenida Sur and 5a. Calle Poniente, a group of assailants traveling in a pickup truck slashed a tourist with a knife and robbed him.

08/18/2011 Antigua, Sacatepéquez: At approximately 12:15am, on 3a. Calle Norte between 3a. and 4a. Avenida, a group of assailants traveling in a pickup truck approached two tourists. The assailants stabbed both tourists with a knife and stole their belongings.

08/18/2011 Antigua, Sacatepéquez: At approximately 11:30pm, on Calle del Arco between 5a. and 6a. Avenida, a group of assailants traveling in a pickup truck approached a resident. The assailants stabbed the resident, cutting off a piece of his ear, and stole his belongings.

08/18/2011 Antigua, Sacatepéquez: At approximately 11:00pm, on the corner of 4a. Calle Poniente and 6a. Avenida Norte, a group of assailants traveling in a pickup truck robbed two tourists. One of the tourists was slashed with a knife during the robbery.

08/18/2011 Antigua, Sacatepéquez: At approximately 8:00pm, in front of La Merced church, an assailant stole two tourists’ belongings and slashed them with a knife.

08/17/2011 Antigua, Sacatepéquez: Two armed men assaulted a tourist who was riding a chicken bus. The men forced the tourist to remove his clothes to see if he was carrying anything of value.

08/16/2011 Livingston, Izabal: An unknown individual stole a tourist’s belongings at a hostel. The stolen items included $300 cash as well as the tourist’s driver’s license and passport.

08/14/2011 Livingston, Izabal: Three assailants boarded an anchored boat at around 8:00pm. The two tourists aboard were tied up and threatened; the intruders stole their diving gear, boat equipment, watches, cell phones, credit cards, and passports.

08/14/2011 San Juan La Laguna, Sololá: An unknown individual stole a tourist’s backpack while the tourist was swimming in Lake Atitlán. Although the tourist reported that she was only in the water for five minutes, the thief got away with her possessions, including her passport.

08/12/2011 Puerto de San José, Escuintla: At approximately 11:30pm, unknown individuals allegedly stopped a car belonging to a married couple. The husband tried to escape the assailants, who then fired several shots into the vehicle. The husband escaped on foot but the wife was shot dead.

08/12/2011 Tecpán, Chimaltenango: Residents have received several blackmail threats demanding 200,000 quetzales in exchange for not harming the couple’s child. The threats have been delivered to their home and their relative’s home via phone calls and letters.

08/08/2011 Chimaltenango, Chimaltenango: Two men on a motorcycle approached a tourist in his car. The men pointed a gun at the tourist and took his belongings, including $500 cash.

08/08/2011 Guatemala City, Zone 10: An American Embassy employee was walking on 7a. Calle when he noticed a car following him. In response, he crossed the street and ran away. From a distance, he saw three men get out of the car; one of them was carrying a gun. No one was injured in this incident.

08/05/2011 Guatemala City, Zone 13: An unknown individual stole a tourist’s money belt at La Aurora International Airport.

08/04/2011 Panajachel, Sololá: An unknown individual stole a tourist’s passport from her purse while she was leaving a bank.

08/03/2011 Panajachel, Sololá: A tourist reported that someone stole his passport while he was waiting inside a bank.

08/03/2011 Villa Nueva, Guatemala: A resident reported threats ordering him to pay 10,000 quetzales or face harm to his family. He has received a dozen anonymous phone calls regarding this threat.

08/01/2011 Antigua, Sacatepéquez: A tourist reported that he attempted an ATM withdrawal and, although the withdrawal was unsuccessful due to a supposed ATM problem, the funds were still withdrawn from his account.

08/01/2011 Antigua, Sacatepéquez: An unknown individual stole two tourists’ passports while the tourists were dining in a restaurant.

You may also want to check out the August 26, 2011, letter from the US Embassador, entitled EMERGENCY MESSAGE TO US CITIZENS. The letter warns of the dangers of traveling in Antigua, Guatemala. The web site is full of such incidents and continues on for pages and pages. As I mentioned earlier, had I known beforehand, I wouldn’t have gone. Now, you may have a better understanding of why I high-tailed it out of Guatemala!

Personally, we were very fortunate although we did have a few scares. While I was in the market in Antigua, Luis noticed someone was following me and staring at the pockets in my pants. I figure he was trying to determine how hard, or easy, it would be to pickpocket me, or who knows what. However, that is conjecture and not supported by fact, but given the factual statistics, it is a definite probability.

One afternoon while in the hotel, Luis decided he needed a second trip to the local market and went off on his own while I stayed in and rested. When he returned, he rang the doorbell to the hotel and while waiting for the staff to open the door, a man approached him, asked for a light, and was fumbling with something in his pocket. Luis said the guy tried to pull whatever it was out of his pocket, but (luckily) it was stuck and he couldn’t get it out. Was it a knife, a gun, or? Again, not fact but high probability. Luis told me at that moment he thought his life was through. Thankfully, all this was interrupted by Luis running into the middle of the street and the staff opening the door. Th would-be assailant exited stage left, and very quickly.

On the way home from Chichicastenango, there was some commotion in the other side of the divided 6 land highway. There was a small crowd and two bodies on the side of the road, but no visible signs of an auto accident. That evening on the news, the staff at the hotel told us of two guys that went to a bank, withdrew some money and were followed, shot, killed and robbed on the same road we travelled. Had we been just a few minutes earlier on our return trip, we would have been witnesses. Too close for me!

All this, coupled with the Embassy web page, confirmed my decision to return early. I changed our tickets with Interjet and we left in the early morning of September 7th, after having just arrived on the first of the month and cuting the vacation short by 9 days. There was no way I was staying in a country that I did not feel safe in, couldn’t walk the streets day or night, and had to cope with armed guards while buying a soft drink, an aspirin, or trying to enjoy a meal in a restaurant. Not my idea of a good time or a vacation, that’s for sure. It seemed like everything we would choose to do would include an inherent risk factor and the wrong choice could result in serious consequences.

On a happier note, what I saw of the countryside was impressive, the weather was wonderful, and the hotel staff was super. And that’s about all I can say on a positive note. We never made it out of our hotel to travel to any other destination other than day trips to Antigua and Chichicastenango, and then only with a private driver, and that is probably a good thing. As much as I wanted to see and do more, I am perfectly content to be home safe and sound. I never took my camera out of the room safe, and never clicked one photograph; thus, no photos to post!

I hate to speak poorly of a place just because I personally did not like it, but I make an exception for Guatemala because of the possible dire consequences of travelling there. BEFORE YOU TRAVEL TO GUATEMALA, PLEASE, PLEASE, CHECK OUT THE WARNINGS FROM THE US AMBASSADOR TO GUATEMALA. DON’T JUST TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.

If this post saves just one person the grief of being robbed, raped or otherwise molested, or even killed, then I am pleased. I know there are those of you out there that will take exception to my findings and opinions, but I’ll stand by my post, my personal experiences, and the word of the US Ambassador to Guatemala. Please don’t write and tell me how very safe and wonderful Antigua is when the statistics show just the opposite.

I do hope that things will change there and one day it will prove to be a safe place to visit as the country has much to offer. In the interim, I will choose other destinations for my travel.

Stay safe wherever you may travel.

DIVERSION EXCURSION: GUATEMALA (PART I)

2011-09-14T10:52:00.000-07:00

You’ll immediately notice the conspicuous absence of photographs in this post. There is a very good reason for it, and I’ll explain why later on.

I wanted to spend my 65th birthday someplace different and decided to give myself a present by going to Guatemala. Luis traveled with me as I no longer enjoy traveling alone and I am so grateful he was there. I studied the internet for days and mapped out where I wanted to go and what route I would follow, and which hotels and restaurants I thought would serve my purpose. Guatemala is a relatively small country, but I figured 16 days would allow me more than sufficient time to see and do it all.

I booked the flight and paid for it, including a small mom and pop posada (hotel) in Guatemala City for $55.00 US per night (http://www.posadabelen.com/). The place was satisfactory and the staff was wonderful. They have only 10 rooms, and only two, one being mine, were being used while I was there, and then the other, only for a day or so. We basically had the place to ourselves, which I thought was a bit strange. We flew from Merida to Mexico City, and then on to Guatemala City via Interjet Airlines. I can highly recommend this airline. It far surpasses Continental in every aspect and I will use them every chance I get.

Arriving in Guatemala City was no problem. The airport was clean and modern, and almost empty! Immigration and Customs went very smoothly, and the luggage didn’t get lost! (Thank you Interjet!) We were greeted at the airport by a taxi driver hired by the hotel to take us directly to our room. I had prearranged this when I booked the hotel for what I thought was going to be only two nights in Guatemala City.

The ride from the airport through the city was uneventful, save for a few traffic jams and lots of weaving in and out. I couldn’t help but to notice that the city actually appeared a bit dingy to me, especially when compared to Merida. One part of town we passed through had some interesting architecture, but not interesting enough for me to even inquire about it with the taxi driver. I saw most of the NOB chain restaurants along the way including McDonald’s, Burger King, Domino’s, Pizza Hut and the like. I have to tell you though, I was absolutely shocked to see a Taco Bell! Absolutely not one of my favorite places. In fact, I do not patronize any of those places, ever. Not even when I’m in the States.

The hotel was located on an unassuming side street, away from the maddening crowd. There was a heavy duty door with metal bars (just like a jail) as the front door, and then a heavy duty wooden door with a few heavy duty dead bolt locks. You had to press a bell and then the staff would come and let you in. I later learned that there was also a security camera, 24 hours a day, so the staff could see who was ringing the bell!

The room was somewhat small, but comfortable. The building was erected in 1873, and had some obvious updates, but definitely needed more. The bathroom was very small, and had one of the smallest sinks I have ever seen, but it served the purpose. The shower had a sky light of sorts and the wood trim and ceiling was being eaten away by termites as evidenced by their droppings and dust accumulating in the shower floor every morning. The courtyard had room for two tiny metal tables, each with two small metal chairs, but it was sufficient. The heavy wooden furniture in the lobby area had seen better days, and was very uncomfortable even with cushions that desperately needed some attention. The mattress on my bed was old and lumpy and failed to provide a good nights’ sleep, but again – it was OK. I had to question the value of the place though for $55.00 US per night. Breakfast was included and it consisted of coffee, juice, eggs, a tablespoon of beans, and toast. Again, acceptable but not the best.

The hotel was also sanctioned by the Guatemalan Government as a museum and had several Mayan pottery pieces on display both sitting out in plain view and in glass enclosed china cabinets. It made for an interesting “look”. The thing that really made it all OK was the excellent staff. They worked hard to keep the place clean and provided us with lots of good information regarding where to go and where not to go, what to do and what not to do. It was as if they were giving us warnings. They called taxi cabs for us and used drivers that were familiar to them and the hotel. It helped make us feel a bit safer in what I soon learned to be was one of the most dangerous cities in the world. I should have known something was up when I saw a notice posted on the bulletin board saying not to wear any of your jewelry if you go out! Good grief I thought! This sure isn’t Merida, and it wasn’t.

(More to come in part II)

GOT ANTS??? GET BAY LAUREL!

2011-08-30T06:26:00.000-07:00

Back in July 2009, I posted a blog on alternatives to insecticides. In that blog, I mentioned the bay laurel leaf and its wonderful properties for helping stem insect infestations. Here is a bit more on the subject.

The internet tells us that in the Middle Ages, bay leaves were believed to induce abortions and to have many magical qualities. They were once used to keep moths away, owing to the leaf's lauric acid content that gives it insecticidal properties. Bay leaves have many properties that make them useful for treating high blood sugar, migraine headaches, bacterial and fungal infections, and gastric ulcers. Bay leaves and berries have been used for their astringent, carminative, diaphoretic, digestive, diuretic, emetic and stomachic properties. Bay oil, or oil of bays (oleum lauri) is used in liniments for bruises and sprains. Bay leaf has been used as an herbal remedy for headaches. It contains compounds, called parthenolides, which have proven useful in the treatment of migraines. Bay leaf has also been shown to help the body process insulin more efficiently, which leads to lower blood sugar levels. It has also been used to reduce the effects of stomach ulcers. Bay leaf contains eugenol, which has anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties. Bay leaf is also an antifungal and antibacterial, and has also been used to treat rheumatism, amenorrhea, and colic. (Wow! Who would have thought all that from a little bay leaf!?!)

The Greeks and Romans both ascribed a number of properties to the laurel tree. People were given laurel wreaths to commemorate feats, hence the term “resting on one's laurels,” and the leaves were also widely used in food flavoring and traditional medicine. Many Mediterranean dishes even today are made with laurel leaf seasoning. (Personally, I have recipes that call for bay laurel leaves, and without them the dish would definitely lack flavor. The one recipe that comes to mind immediately is minestrone soup.)

Somewhat to my surprise, I found that the world wide web is amass with information about the laurel leaf, or perhaps more familiar to you – the bay leaf. (It’s an interesting and worthwhile Google search!)

When my Mom was alive, I recall how we teased her about all the bay leaves she would have in her cupboards, drawers, on the counter, in the flour and sugar jars, and even under sinks. The garage was a bay leaf haven, too. I don’t know how it all came about, but she used these bay leaves in lieu of insecticides in the kitchen area. She hated bugs and would go to any extreme to avoid any creepy crawly. I need to tell you that, even living in Florida, she had no bugs in her abode!

I remembered this idea and my previous blog a few months ago as I have been fighting a long and drawn out battle with “shadow ants” in my kitchen. I don't know if that is the correct terminology, but these are those little tiny ants that are so small, you can barely see them. I tried absolutely everything from vinegar to insecticide sprays, to special ant traps and even brought some professional ant bait and insecticide back with me from Florida. They all worked! For about a week or so. The ants I had in my kitchen were so small that you could barely see them. I know they are harmless, but I, like my mother, didn’t want them or any other creepy crawly hanging out and getting comfortable in my kitchen.

Off to the grocery I go! I purchased a few bags of laurel (bay) leaves and set about imitating my mother’s plan of attack. I have laurel leaves everywhere in my kitchen cupboards, on the counters, and under the sink! I have laurel leaves and no more ants. This is like a miracle cure!

If you are pestered by creepy crawlies, you may want to consider decorating your kitchen with bay laurel leaves! Inexpensive, readily available, environmentally friendly, and they work! Change them out every 3 months or so.

Thanks, Mom.

Note: I actually have some photographs that I wanted to post, but Blogger just wouldn't cooperate.

CONFESSION: I AM A LEXAPHILE!

2011-07-31T17:43:00.000-07:00

I KNOW THAT SOUNDS HORRIBLE, BUT IT IS TRUE. TO MY FELLOW LEXIPHILES, I OFFER THE FOLLOWING FOOD FOR THOUGHT:

To all you Lexiphiles .... (those who love playing on words), enjoy!

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia : The LAN down under.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

AIRPORT CALENDAR, 2011

2011-07-21T05:52:00.000-07:00

JUST FOR LAUGHS . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

WOW! HAVE I BEEN BUSY LATELY!

2011-07-15T08:57:00.000-07:00

Shortly after returning from a trip to Florida, I had to return just two weeks later. My condo sold, and I had to close it out. That was quite an ordeal. I left Florida on June 29 to arrive home here in Merida just in time to pick up my 16 year old cousin at the airport. He’ll stay here until the end of the month. Needless to say, it takes some extra energy to keep up with a 16 year old!

We’ve been taking in all the local attractions, lots of different restaurants, and a day trip to Chichenitiza, and have other Mayan ruins on the agenda. We took a 3 day trip to the Riviera Maya (Playa del Carmen area) and stayed at a 5 star all-inclusive. It was my third trip there and it was as good as I had remembered it! Food and lodging were excellent, and we saw some great shows. We all had a great time.

Today, it’s off to the market to check it out and search for some little treasures to return home with. We’re heading out to the beach at Sisal tomorrow for a swim and then lunch at one of my favorite sea food restaurants, and then back to Merida. Sunday, we’ll take in “Merida en Domingo” at the main square and grab some of those great tacos and other goodies and also do a little shopping. The schedule is open thereafter, but I know it will fill up quickly!

So, I’ve been a bit remiss in blogging, but definitely have been busy!

And enjoying myself immensely, I might add!

THE HEAT AND CANNED GOODS

2011-06-04T07:39:00.000-07:00

There are enough blogs out there telling us how extremely hot it has been in Merida, so I’ll let it suffice to say that it is “HELL-HOT”! Up until yesterday, Friday, there seemed to be no relief in sight. But alas! We finally got our first late afternoon shower! It cooled things down a bit, but then the devil reared its ugly head and the unrelenting sun made its appearance once again. And so the cycle will continue for the next few months.

Because of the extreme heat of summer, it is unsafe to store an excess amount of canned goods. Quite truthfully, I buy very few canned items anymore and opt for “fresh” whenever I can. That means shopping daily, or at least every other day, but that’s really OK by me! The primary reason for not wanting to store very many canned goods is the fact that the temperature in your cupboard will often equal or exceed the outside temperature. I know of no canned goods that are to be stored at room temperatures in excess of 90 or 100°F. I have lost many a good can of tomatoes and other items this way, including a can of tomato paste just the other day. You can always tell when the can is bad if it makes a popping sound when you open it and starts to bubble/gurgle up. Toss it!

It’s always so tempting to buy “more than one” when the item is on sale or sold in 6 packs at Costco or Sam’s Club. Even though I know better, I often fall victim. I love their brands of canned tomatoes but you can only buy them in 6 or 8 packs, and I often do, only to arrive home and suffer with buyer’s remorse thereafter.

If you live in this area, or other tropical-like area, it is time to inventory your cupboards and get rid of those canned goods that have been stored for a while. I do this on a regular basis to make sure nothing goes to waste. It is extremely dangerous to consume any canned product that has been around for an excessive amount of time. Botulism and salmonella are lurking inside of old, unused products. Serious side affects can take their toll. So, go check out your stash of goodies and anything that looks suspiciously old, use it if feasible, or toss it.

The heat is a killer of canned goods. Dry goods, if stored in air-tight containers, are a different story and as long as they are not exposed to direct sunlight, will last for quite awhile. The trick is to buy not what you “want”, but what you absolutely “need”. Because of the extreme heat we experience, many homes in the area have no doors on their cupboards. This is to accommodate air flow. Even some very expensive homes have open shelves, or “cupboardless kitchens”. If you do have doors or similar sealing devices on your kitchen cupboards, leave them cracked a bit to let some air get in there, otherwise your products, canned or boxed, will just sit in there and smolder in the heat of the day.

Now, I haven’t checked any of this with Snopes, but I did get this information several years ago from a friend of mine who was a doctor. So far, it has worked well for me except for those damn tomatoes I keep buying!

GETTING READY TO FLY (A BIT OF A RANT)

2011-05-10T06:52:00.000-07:00

I vividly recall a long lost era when flying was actually fun! (Really!!!)

While there were no specific dress codes per se, you had to be properly dressed or you just didn’t fit in. Shirt and tie for gentleman and even young boys; a dress with frills for the ladies and young ladies alike was the uniform of the day. Everyone seemed so neat and proper. I rather enjoyed it.

Today, as long as your private parts are (mostly) covered, it just doesn’t matter how gruff you look. No problem – welcome aboard. Flip flops? Cool – come on down! Shorts and a T-Shirt? Good-to-go! Why not.? Forgot to bathe? Don’t worry – catch a shower when you get home. Drunk, rowdy or whatever? Not an issue. They’ll help you find your seat, strap you in, and hope you stay in it during the flight. They’ll even sell you more to drink just to pacify you and hope you remain seated! (If you think this is an exaggeration, take a flight out of Cancun and judge for yourself.)

I do not recall any luggage ever being screened, x-rayed, measured and weighed, ultra violated or even given a second look. Today – forget it. It is always x-rayed and often opened, and of course resealed, with a cheery note from Homeland Security. On occasion, some items have been “confiscated” from my luggage without explanation. I’ve actually had carry-on luggage x-rayed, screened, and searched 3 times before being able to board! Maybe I have that terrorist look or something. I’ve got luggage that’s been x-rayed so many times that I’m amazed that it doesn’t glow in the dark!

Today there are multiple baggage restrictions and you oftentimes have to pay for checked luggage! If you fly internationally, the first piece is free, but the second checked piece of luggage isn’t. Prices vary from carrier to carrier. Oh! And some seats, even in the “tourist” section of the plane, cost more! If you want a seat with more leg room, such as the bulk head seats, that will be an extra $69.00 US. Some carriers are talking about extra charges for aisle seats also. Good grief! Where and when will this price gouging by the airlines stop!?!

Oh! And heaven forbid you should have a liquid or a gel on you or in your carry-on before you board. This is borderline criminal and “confiscation” is the word of the day. You can pack liquids and gels in your check-in luggage and risk the chance of having them break and spill over all your clothing, or just buy what you need when you get to wherever it is you’re going. That seems so much easier. There is also a process to carry minimal amounts of liquids and gels in your carry-on luggage if they have been properly measured, sealed and stored in the correct size zip lock bag. Personally, I can’t be bothered, won’t take the risk of “confiscation”, and find it easier to buy what I need when I get there.

And before you’re ever allowed to enter the boarding area, you and your carry-on luggage are screened and x-rayed at least once, usually twice. Once in the air side terminal area, you are again inspected/searched (various forms – can be exciting) to make sure that the other three screening processes didn’t miss anything. Sometimes, you even have to get undressed, or at least remove your shoes. (Hmmmm . . . flip flops are sounding better all the time!) Shoeless, you now have to remove your belt and any metal objects you have on you. Here’s hoping the belt you just removed wasn’t holding up your pants! And ladies, most reinforced and under-wire bras set off the machines and put them in a tilt mode with lights flashing and sirens roaring. "Confiscation" is a possibility, so it’s best to go braless. Guys like that better anyways.

Should you spot a friend on the other side of the airport and his name is Jack, under no circumstances should you ever yell out “Hi Jack”! You will immediately be wrestled to the ground and (yep, you guessed it) “confiscated”. It’s probably best to pretend you didn’t see him or just wave and smile, or even a nod of recognition, but NEVER “Hi Jack”. And no jokes either! There are warning signs and public service announcements advising of the consequences which probably include “confiscation”. Same goes for unattended luggage – “confiscation”.

As a young guy, I recall flirting with the stewardesses and always getting a neat pair of plastic wings to wear on my freshly starched and ironed white dress shirt. (I also fantasized about being “confiscated”.) Once, I even got a tie bar! I don’t know if they still do that or not. I may ask for my plastic wings this trip just to see what they say. (“Confiscation” comes to mind!) And, believe this or not, it was permissible to go and visit the captain during the flight! Can you imagine!?! A visit to the cockpit – unheard of! As a young man, I actually did this on more than one occasion and even got to sit in a jump seat right behind the captain while we were at 20,000 feet! Try that today, and guess what?? Right – “confiscation”!

I even recall looking forward to the meals that you were served. Although not gourmet, you usually had a choice of the entre which was always fresh, hot, tasty, healthy, and presented to you with real silverware and a smile. Today, consider yourself fortunate to get a small glass of Coke and a micro-mini bag of micro-mini pretzels. You can sometimes get a smile with that if you’re lucky. But I don’t blame the hired help, I blame the carrier. Three glasses of Coke can be had from one can. I always ask for the can. This way, I can at least get my thirst quenched. There aren’t enough micro-mini pretzels in the bag to feed an anorexic squirrel. That’s why I always manage to have a bite to eat before I board. Some airlines are now selling sandwiches and other food/snack items. It’s like they haven’t made enough off of you for your airfare, they are now going into the restaurant business.

Some airlines used to give complimentary booze, even in tourist class. (I always tried to book with those airlines.) Today, a miniature bottle of booze will cost you around $6.00 US dollars, but don’t even think you can pay cash for it. No way! Credit cards only!! I can only surmise that the staff isn’t good at making change (or something). I really haven’t quite figured that one out. “You mean to tell me that you don’t want my US dollars???? They’re no good and won’t spend????? Even on this United States of America airlines???” I hope this isn’t a trend.

Today, there are multiple amenities in the cabin area including movies, music, telephones, and other electronic devices for your flying pleasure. Get your credit card out and keep it handy. US dollars not accepted! Years ago, we had no such luxuries. (Some of those things weren’t even invented yet!) Magazines and coloring books and crayons were handed out and considered a treat! We dozed, conversed with family and friends, struck up conversations with other passengers, and basically, just enjoyed the ride. It seemed simpler then.

After ranting and raving, I must confess that I am willing to comply with whatever rules they can come up with. I want to fly safe and be secure. While it sometimes seems a bit over the edge, I absolutely realize the necessity for it. But sometimes it feels good just to rant and rave a bit! But for some reason, I just don’t feel that the price I pay for my ticket equals the services I receive from the carrier. And those prices seem to increase on an all too regular basis. Why? Have the price of Coke and micro-mini pretzels escalated so much that they need to add on an extra $50.00 to my ticket price? I guess they just blame it all on the price of oil. It works for them but not always for me.

I’m off to pack for my flight! I’m going to do my best to enjoy it, despite all the rigors and exorbitant costs of flying today. I’ll try not to get “confiscated”!

(Ahhh, the good old days! They start tomorrow!)

CONSERVING AND RECYCLING WATER CAN BE “FRUITFUL”!

2011-03-31T13:13:00.000-07:00

Without fanfare or rhetoric, I think we all know the benefits of conserving water, no matter where you live. Now that the hot weather is definitely upon us here in the Yucatan, our water usage increases dramatically.

Because of the intense heat, we shower more often, have to change clothing two or three times per day depending on personal preferences and activities, the washing machine seems to never stop going, pools, ponds and water features require high maintenance and extra water to make up for the rapid evaporation that takes place, our personal water intake increases as it essential to remain properly hydrated, and basically, everything just starts to dry out from the never-ending intense heat of summer. Every plant and shrub requires daily doses of water just to survive the heat.

At my home, we practice water conservation and recycling year round. The rinse water from the washing machine is diverted through a hose that is used to fill several buckets. This water is then used to water plants, wash down the patio, and the front sidewalk and street to help keep the dust and dirt to a minimum. I can’t tell you how much water this recycling method saves.

The rinse water from the washing machine does not, repeat, does not harm the plants! In fact, the soapy water discourages insects and other "creepie-crawlies" that would otherwise snack on your plants or become homesteaders and make a neat little nest in the plant itself.

In the kitchen sink, we keep a plastic basin to catch all water coming from the tap and to wash dishes in. We rinse our dishes with water direct from the faucet and the rinse water is then caught in the plastic basin and recycled. When the basin is full, it is emptied into a large bucket and that water is used to water the plants with. Any and all water used in the kitchen is recycled in this manner. Fruits and vegetables are soaked in water with an iodine-based antibacterial (Microdyn) added to the water to kill any lingering bacteria. This water is also recycled and becomes a cool refreshing drink for the plants!

Recently, we noticed something growing out of the dwarf bouganvilla plant. (I’m not sure how to correctly spell bouganvilla and when I looked it up, I couldn’t find it!!) It looked like something other than a weed so it was left alone to see what might become of it. Low and behold, it was a tomato plant! It was not planted purposefully, but apparently a seed or two was in the basin that was transferred to a bucket and that water was then used to water the plant. The seed took, and I will soon be enjoying a fresh tomato salad from the garden! Like I said, conserving and recycling water can be fruitful. Here’s a picture to prove it!

(And by the way, the tomato is a fruit, not a vegetable!)

WOW! FERRY SERVICE FROM THE YUCATAN TO TAMPA, FLORIDA, MAY RETURN!!

2011-03-20T11:25:00.000-07:00

Personally, I am really excited about this bit of news that was recently (March 16, 2011) published in the Tampa Bay Area news media. I recall the original ferry service in 2003, which went “bottoms up”, and the one in 2008 that did the same. I was fortunate to take these trips 6 times before they stopped sailing.

It is tailor made for me. The ferry service leaves Port of Progreso, Yucatan, and arrives in the Port of Tampa, Florida about 36 hours later. Each port is only 30 minutes from my home in Merida, and my condo in St. Petersburg. From Tampa, Florida, to my condo in St. Petersburg, it is a $30.00 limousine ride.

I recall that you could carry almost as much luggage as you could haul, and with no weight restrictions. That may change though. Cost “back then” was $250.00, subsequently increased to $300.00, ROUND TRIP! It included a cabin with private bath and shower, and 2 beds. Quite small, but hey – it was only a 36 hour sail! The round trip fare also included all your meals, served buffet style (of course), and the food was really good!

If you brought your vehicle, that was extra. Lots of folks from the Yucatan did bring their vehicles and upon departing Tampa, headed directly for the areas beautiful beaches and/or Disney World and all the other attractions in the Orlando area, which is about an hours drive away. It was a great thing for us living here in the Yucatan. It was also a very inexpensive vacation for an individual or a large family when compared to air fares and car rentals in the US. In addition to passengers and vehicles, the ferry also accommodated cargo, thus adding to the economy of the Yucatan. Limes were a primary source of cargo, and the shipping company increased their revenue which helped keep passenger fares down.

The ferry was actually quite comfortable and there were many activities to meet everyone’s needs. There were some activities for kids, a disco in the evening, bingo and other cruise ship activities during the day, a full casino, shops, you name it. Just like on a big cruise ship, only scaled down in size, but not spirit. The same is promised for this new adventure.

I’m keeping my eyes and ears open and all my fingers crossed in hopes of learning more about this “probable” adventure! I do so hope this happens
again!

SHOULD YOU HEAR ANYTHING, PLEASE LET ME KNOW!!!

You can read more about the proposed ferry service here: (cut & paste)

http://www.tampabay.com/news/business/tampa-hopes-for-ferry-service-to-yucatan-cuba/1157412

OBTAINING MEDICATIONS IN MEXICO

2011-03-06T11:25:00.000-08:00

When I first started visiting Mexico in the mid 1960’s, you could walk in any farmacia (pharmacy), and buy whatever medication(s) you needed without a prescription. There were limitations on purchasing high potency pain relievers and psychotrophic medications. However, if you wanted medications like those and didn’t have a prescription, all you needed to do was take a stroll down to the cantina section of town where street vendors were more than happy to fill your requests.

We hear so much about the drug cartels and violence in Mexico these days that many would-be visitors are staying home. I am pleased to report that all that craziness is far from where I am living. Merida remains a safe place to visit and live. A recent article in the Washington Post tells it like it is. Read about here:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wpdyn/content/article/2011/03/02/AR2011030205529.html

In Merida, and almost every other pat of Mexico, there seems to be a farmacia on every street corner. Competition is keen, just like in the US. There are farmacias that sell only generic medications at discounted prices. There are several large chains that compete by offering in-house specials and membership cards for additional discounts and premiums. Another gimmick used by the major chains is having a small office attached to their particular store, and staffing it with a medical doctor. You can see the doctor for the equivalent of about $2.00 - $2.50 US dollars. Another large chain offers the same service, but for FREE! The large chains have just about abolished the “mom and pop” operations, but a few still remain. And of course, we have several farmacias that sell only herbal medications, and I know of one that sells products only for the skin.

In August of 2010, a new law was passed that required a doctor’s prescription to purchase antibiotics. Apparently, so many people in the country were over-using and abusing antibiotics that the general population built up a resistance to them, and it was becoming harder and harder to fight infections. However, most other medications are available without a prescription.

I recently had a sinus infection and knew from past experience that I needed an antibiotic to get rid of it. Because of the new law, I had to have a prescription. I went to the free doctor at a farmacia near my home and was pleasantly surprised to find that the very nice young lady was actually a licensed physician. She proudly displayed all of her diplomas on the office wall. For free, she gave me an upper respiratory exam of the eyes, ears, nose and throat. She checked my throat and neck area for swollen lymph glands and asked if I had any other concerns. The doctor gave me prescriptions for three medications, and I am now free of the sinus infection I had.

If I had a serious medical issue, I would only go to Star Medica Hospital here in Merida which is staffed by some of the absolute best doctors I have ever encountered in my life. If I had a relatively minor medical issue, such as a sinus infection, I would not hesitate to go back to the doctor at the farmacia. Eligibility is based only upon your showing up. You do not have to be hooked up with any insurance program or any Mexican Social Medicine Program. If you’re sick, just go. What a great system! Competition is good for everyone.

You can still buy most medications over-the-counter. They are first class quality, manufactured by major drug companies. So, if you re thinking of visiting or moving here, don’t be overly concerned about obtaining the medications you need. They are here and they are readily available. There is a wide variety of pharmacies to choose from including the pharmacies at Sam’s Club, Costco, and WalMart.

And yes, prices are (generally) less than what you would pay in the US.

Stay healthy!

.

PONDERISMS

2011-02-14T10:26:00.000-08:00

Here’s two dozen things for you to "ponder". They are mostly silly, quite worthless, a waste of time, somewhat childish, not worthy of publication, and probably not worthy of reading! You’ve been warned. Here they are:

1. Ever wonder about those people who spend $2.00 a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards : NAIVE

2. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? (My sentiments exactly)

3. OK ..... so if the Jacksonville Jaguars are known as the 'Jags' and the Tampa Bay Buccaneers are known as the 'Bucs,' what does that make the Tennessee Titans?

4. If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrhea does that mean that one enjoys it?

5. There are three religious truths:

a. Jews do not recognize Jesus as the Messiah.
b. Protestants do not recognize the Pope as the leader of the Christian faith.
c. Baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or Hooters.

6. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

7. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

8. Why do croutons come in airtight packages? Aren't they just stale bread to begin with?

9. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?

10. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

11. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

12. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

13. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

14. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

15. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older; then it dawned on me ... they're cramming for their final exam.

16. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks, so I wondered what do Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

17. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen can look for them while they deliver the mail?

18. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

19. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

21. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

22. If a cow laughed, would she spew milk out of her nose?

23. Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

24. At income tax time, did you ever notice: When you put
the two words 'The' and 'IRS' together it spells ... 'THEIRS'?

See, I told you so! I gave you fair warning! You’ve just wasted about 4 minutes of your life that you will never be able to get back. (Now go and ponder that! :-)

)A SPECIAL NOTE OF THANKS TO MY FRIEND DG FOR SENDING THIS TO ME!)

SAN CRISTOBAL DE LAS CASAS (CONTINUED)

2011-02-07T11:39:00.000-08:00

PART IX: FINAL THOUGHTS AND THE FINAL CHAPTER

Here's a friendly little guy I encountered on my visit!

Although the trip started out on a rather sour note with me being quite ill, my travel companion getting ripped off on the bus and having to return to Merida, and that horrible B&B that we booked, it turned out to be a wonderful “diversion excursion” after all.

San Cristobal is a charming, old colonial city with much to offer. The Government has closed several streets to vehicle traffic except for service vehicles and then, only very early in the morning. You can leisurely stroll by numerous shops that sell local artisan wares including some magnificent amber pieces. Chiapas has one of the richest deposits of amber in the world and prices are reasonable and craftsmanship is outstanding.

While I did encounter a few tourists from North America, the vast majority of visitors were European, and more specifically, Italian. This could account for the multitude of Italian restaurants I saw. Backpackers from all over the world were also in abundance.

The zocalo (main square) offered nightly entertainment, always free of charge. There were bands, singing, dancing and a party atmosphere prevailed. These fellows dressed in some sort of native Indian garb, danced, around putting on a show, and then posed for pictures with you for a propina, or tip.

Restaurants are plentiful and are clean and reasonable. In addition to numerous Italian restaurants, there was a fair share of Argentine steak houses. There was also an abundant supply of typical Mexican restaurants, and they actually were the busiest.

The fragrance of fresh ground gourmet Chiapan coffee wafts through the cold morning and night air and I found it to be irresistible and quite delicious and warming, too! French pastry shops sell some very tempting treats, also. The coffee shops were busy from opening to closing as were the restaurants that specialized in wines, including one that served hot wine. That was a first for me.

As I was feeling somewhat better the last few days there, I ventured out more and tried some of the more interesting choices for dining. One very peculiar place became my favorite. I say peculiar because the dining area was in a courtyard lined with several gift shops and kiosks. There was a sign boldly declaring that the shops were members of a Zapatista cooperative! (The Zapatistas are a revolutionary group that actually stirred an uprising against the Mexican Government demanding human rights and assistance for the indigent poor in Chiapas.) Perhaps the most unusual feature of the restaurant was an altar (of sorts) that displayed a crucified Mayan God named Pacal and a naked woman crying out to him. The food was very good and I had one of the best pizzas (sold by the slice) I have ever eaten in Mexico! I called the owner over to compliment him and found out he was from a small village outside of Milan, Italy. I wanted to ask what the Zapatista connection was, but decided I better not go there!

On the sidewalk across the street from the No Bolom Museum and Guest House, sits this very old wooden boat. It is so out of place that there must be a great story that goes with it. Unfortunately, everyone I asked just didn’t know for sure. I guess I’ll just have to go back and find out for myself!

If you haven’t already guessed, I really like San Cristobal. It is one of my favorite places in Mexico.

A special note of thanks to all who have left comments and sent me e-mails. I appreciate all of your wonderful comments and thoughts and I hope you enjoyed sharing my "diversion excursion" to San Cristobal de las Casas. If you are planning a trip to Mexico, consider putting San Cistobal on your list of places to see.

SAN CRISTOBAL DE LAS CASAS (CONTINUED)

2011-01-30T16:58:00.000-08:00

PART VIII: THE TREASURES OF THE MARKET

I believe that the atmosphere of a market speaks loudly of the community it represents. Each market yields its own treasures, some more valuable than others, but treasures nonetheless. A casual stroll through the main market of San Cristobal will arouse not only your taste buds, but stir your imagination, too! It challenges all your senses; visual with the wide array of bright colors, auditory with the constant chatter of negotiations, smell with abundant sweet and tantalizing fragrances, the touch and feel of freshness, and the arousal of your taste buds as you sample the wonderful treasures you’ve discovered. Fruits and vegetables are displayed as an art form. The beans are cleaned and shining before being offered. The flowers are fresh and fragrant. And, all are so very hard to resist. Prices are exceptionally reasonable and well within anyone’s budget.

I didn’t have to get permission to shoot many of these photographs, so enjoy some of the treasures I discovered in the market of San Cristobal de las Casas!

HOT, HOT, HOT! THERE WERE ENOUGH CHILI PEPPERS TO START A FOREST FIRE!

THE VEGGIES WERE SO TEMPTING! A VEGETARIAN'S PARADISE!

FRUITS WERE ABUNDANT AND BECKONING!

I LOVE BEANS AND BOUGHT SEVERAL KILOS WHICH ARE NOT AVAILABLE IN MERIDA.

THE WONDERFUL FRAGRANCE OF THE FLOWERS REALLY ADDED TO THE AMBIANCE OF THE MARKET!

SEAFOOD IS SOLD ONLY DRIED IN THIS PART OF THE MARKET. A WIDE VARIETY OF FRESH SEAFOOD IS AVAILABLE IN THE MEAT, POULTRY, AND SEAFOOD SECTION.

SPICES ARE A BIG PART OF ANY MEXICAN RECIPE AND AE READILY AVAILABLE HERE.

A CHICKEN IN EVERY POT! WHOLE, OR IN PART - YOUR CHOICE.

HOLLOWED OUT GOURDS ARE USED AS DRINKING VESSELS AND UTILITARIAN ITEMS.

YOU CAN FIND YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE HERE, TOO!

FODDER FOR FARM ANIMALS IS SOLD ALONGSIDE FODDER FOR THE PEOPLE!

ONE CAN'T HELP BUT WONDER HOW MANY YEARS OF HER LIFE HAVE BEEN SPENT SELLING IN THE MARKET. A TRUE TREASURE, FOR SURE!

I THOUGHT ABOUT IT, BUT NO - I DIDN'T BUY THE HAT!!

SAN CRISTOBAL DE LAS CASAS, CHIAPAS (CONTINUED)

2011-01-28T11:34:00.000-08:00

PART VII: A SIDE TRIP TO SAN JUAN CHAMULA

Situated in the Chiapas highlands just 6 miles from San Cristobal, you will find the very unique, autonomous pueblo of San Juan Chamula. No outside police or military are allowed in the village. “Chamulas” have their own police force, or “autoridades” (authorities). Visitors are welcome, but always scrutinized by the watchful eye of not only the autoridades, but the locals as well. The inhabitants number 55,000+ and are members of the indigenous Tzotzil Maya people.

Here’s what Wikipedia has to say, in part, about San Juan Chamula:

“The church of San Juan is filled with colorful candles, and smoke from burning copal resin incense. Along the walls of the church, as in many Catholic churches, are dressed-up wooden statues of saints in large wooden cases, many wearing mirrors to deflect evil. The local form of Catholicism is a blend of pre-conquest Maya customs, Spanish Catholic traditions, and subsequent innovations.

There are no pews in the church, and the floor area is completely covered in a carpet of green pine boughs and soda bottles (mostly Coca Cola). Curanderos (medicine men) diagnose medical, psychological or ‘evil-eye’ afflictions and prescribe remedies such as candles of specific colors and sizes, specific flower petals or feathers, or - in a dire situation - a live chicken. The specified remedies are brought to a healing ceremony. Chamula families kneel on the floor of the church with sacrificial items, stick candles to the floor with melted wax, drink ceremonial cups of Posh, artisanal sugar-cane-based liquor, Coca Cola or Pepsi, and chant prayers in an archaic dialect of Tzotzil”

Wikipedia also recognizes the difficulty of taking photographs in the town.

“Photography in the town is very difficult as parents will hide their children or they themselves will turn away as soon as they spot a camera. Photography within the church is strictly prohibited.”

In San Juan Chamula, the church sits at one end of the town square and is the main tourist attraction. Here, Mayan customs and tradition, Tzotzil superstition, ancient rituals, and Catholicism, meld together to form one of the most unique marriages ever known. I have been there on three different occasions and have witnessed a sacrificial chicken, blood dripping from the alter to the floor, the fragrant pine boughs that cover the church floor, the smoke and heat of a thousand candles, the burning, choking incense, the drinking of posh, the never-ending chanting, and the suspicious glares from the locals. You can’t help but to get an eerie feeling just being there, being a tourist.

This trip wasn’t much different. There were hundreds, if not at least a thousand, candles burning in the church, attended by an autoridade who would re-light some that went out, and remove those that had burned their limits. Some men and younger boys were allowed to scrape the melted wax from the floors, to be recycled, I’m sure. There was the usual amount of posh consumption, smoke from the candles, incense, and more than enough chanting for me. No dead animals this time around.

I was fortunate enough to visit during a ceremonial time of year. As best I could find out, they were in the process of electing different Mayan Gods to rule and worship for the year! The autoridades were dressed in long white woolen vests, while other Chamulas wore black woolen vests. Some men were dressed in their normal street wear. I couldn’t find out the exact reason for this, but I believe it has something to do with their status in the community. Yet others wore different ceremonial garb with brightly colored red ribbons and special head gear. Women carried clay pots of smoking incense. It seemed like there may have been different sects, as small groups would take turns visiting and worshiping in the church, then line up outside for some sort of ritual run through the streets as the shouted in unison! It was extremely difficult to find out just exactly what was going on. They’re not exactly a friendly group of sorts, but they realize the importance of tourists’ dollars, both foreign and Mexican.

I was fortunate to get a few decent photographs and will share those with you.
.
The entrance to the church.

Candles, potients, incense, and more!

The church is very small, but well-attended by both the local indigenous peoples of San Juan Chamula, and throngs of tourists.

The autoridades! Note that some are dressed in white, some in black, some in normal street clothing and others in ceremonial costumes.

The market in the main square in front of the church is small, but crowded and colorful!

This guy was selling some sort of a sewing instrument. I think it is used to spin wool or other yarns on. I profess that I cannt thread a needle. But, yes, I bought one. I'll turn it into a "shelf dweller".

Brightly colored clothing and such, calls for brightly colored yarns! And the market in San Juan Chamula is a good place to buy them!

Food and beverages are always an integral part of any Mexican celebration and San Juan Chamula is no exception. Thier beverage of choice is "posh". A sugar cane based alcoholic drink that is one octane lower than jet fuel.

Obviously, this guy couldn't handle his posh and crash landed!

Some local women wearing the traditional black woolen skirts. Note the one on the right who is selling handmade belts to hold 'em up!

On the way out of town, our little tour group stopped briefly at the local cemetery. All graves were, at one time or another, decorated in pine boughs. The green pine boughs represent life
to the indigenous people of the area. While there, we witnessed a grave robber, of sorts. A young guy and a companion visited each grave site and removed candles, glass containers, etc., and off they went. Who knows - maybe they are caretakers there, but somehow I doubt it.

After the cemetery, we stopped at the small village of Zinacatan where we were hosted by an indigenous family of weavers! Being accustomed to having their pictures taken, they gladly posed for the cameras. We were told that it takes approximately 5 hours to hand weave one wall hanging.

And no, I didn't buy the vest!

After watching the weavers in action, we were invitied into the family kitchen to partake in the eating of tacos! Still not quite up to par, I passed but was very tempted!

SAN CRISTOBAL DE LAS CASAS, CHIAPAS (CONTINUED)

2011-01-24T10:26:00.000-08:00

PART VI – THE HUSTLE AND BUSTLE OF THE CROWDED MARKETS

In every city or small pueblo that I have ever visited in Mexico, the market places are always the most interesting. The sights, the sounds, the smells, the colors; each marketplace is unique unto itself. They are full of life and the activities that sustain the community. Vendors abound and customers are always eager to find the best bargains of the day. If you are curious about local culture, take a stroll through the market!

Once again, I must advise that the photographs I took at the local markets in San Cristobal were not “posed”, but rather taken on the sly, so to speak, save for a few. Hopefully, these photos will give you an idea of the hustle and bustle of this colorful marketplace.

(CLICK ON ANY PHOTO TO ENLARGE.)

The handmade tapestries are always colorful as evidenced by this fine example of a wall hanging. I didn't buy a tapestry this trip, but I did buy a beautiful seven foot table runner for my dining room table! It, too, is quite colorful and quite beautiful and now adorns my table.

And, yes, I did purchase two of these magnificent hand-carved masks. They are hanging on my wall as I type, guarding the stairway! (I should have purchased more! Oh well, next trip!)

Some very colorful shoppers!

An overview of the meat, poultry, and fish market. I didn't buy any fresh meat, poultry, or fish, but I did buy several kilos of chorizo. (A rich, wonderfully seasoned Mexican sausage.) If you look closely in the second photo, you can see it hanging. Irresistable! And quite delicous, too!

Of all the photos I took on this trip, this is one of my absolute favorites. It could easily be the equivalent of an executive business meeting to discuss sales, marketing, and strategy!

The black wool is sold and used for making traditional clothing for both men and women, and sometimes for ceremonial garb for men. Women, and even very young girls, wear skirts made from this wool, even in the midst of summer! They are wrap-around and held together by hand made, brightly colored belts. Men wear both pants and long vests. All such clothing is handmade. The woman looking to buy some wool is wearing a wool skirt. You can't find them at your local Wal Mart!

Hah! This foto wasn't taken by Merida Mikey as proclaimed! I am in the foto!!!

Stop all transactions! Time out for a little snack!

The shoemaker gave permission to be photographed. No, I didn't buy any shoes, but I did buy a very nice leather sheath for a machete I have.

Heading home after a long day of shopping. Could be chicken soup for the evening meal!

Another sale!

Color abounds everywhere you look!

Believe it or not, I bought this snake! It is now wrapped around the railing of my staircase.

This very nice lady gave me permission to take her photo! She wasn't camera shy!

If you're wondering what these are, they are necklaces! They are made exclusively from seeds that have (obviously) been brightly colored and strung. They sell for 5 pesos each, or the equivalent of 40 cents each.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .Take the chicken! Sold!

SAN CRISTOBAL DEL LAS CASAS (CONTINUED)

2011-01-22T11:04:00.000-08:00

PART V: SAN CRISTOBAL’S MOST PRECIOUS COMMODITY – THE CHILDREN

Children everywhere are special, and San Cristobal is no exception. The smiles on their innocent faces are priceless. They are well-behaved, quiet, and unassuming. Their days are routine and uneventful. The watchful eye of their protective mother never strays. I can only presume that their lives are not full of adventure, television, X-Box, toys, computers, and the creature comforts most children have come to take for granted. Food, clothing, and shelter are the essentials their parents strive to provide and this is the main reason you will find the mothers and other women walking the streets morning, noon, and night, hawking their beautiful, handmade wares to eager tourists. Oftentimes, the smaller children are in tow, carried on their mothers’ backs, not unlike a sack of potatoes. As saddening to me as it is, when the children are older they become street vendors themselves to supplement the family income. Formal education is minimal. Learning to count at an early age is an imperative skill necessary to make correct change. Street smarts abound. However, all that being said, the children are loved and tenderly cared for as best their parents know how, and from all outward appearances, and even though they are obviously poor, they appear happy and healthy.

It is extremely difficult, almost impossible sometimes, to photograph the indigenous people of Chiapas, including the children. On a rare occasion, you may get permission to do so, but most of the time, NOT! It makes for difficult picture taking. They are extremely superstitious and wary of strangers, especially light-skinned North Americans. There are stories floating around about cameras being destroyed or confiscated, tourists being injured, and even killed! Outwardly, these people are gentle and peaceful, but due to their extremely superstitious heritage, it wouldn’t take much to set them off on a rampage if you tried photographing them without their permission. Needless to say, I always had that thought in the back of my mind. I did manage some clandestine shots and even paid for a few posed ones, and given the somewhat difficult circumstances of creating or taking advantage of a “Kodak Moment”, I am pleased with the results which I will share with you in this post and others to follow.

Most of these photos were taken in busy markets where the subjects were unsuspecting.

Now, enjoy a few shots of some of the beautiful children of Chiapas.

(CLICK ON ANY PHOTOGRAPH TO ENLARGE IT.)

SAN CRISTOBAL DE LAS CASAS, CHIAPAS (CONTINUED)

2011-01-19T17:10:00.000-08:00

PART IV: FINDING NEW DIGS (THE TRIP FROM HELL TURNS HEAVENLY!)

There was no way I was staying at that B&B any longer than I had to. As puny as I felt, I hailed a taxi and headed for the downtown area to search for new accommodations. I began walking the streets, stopping to rest every chance I had.

I checked out rooms that were similarly priced to what we had paid and upwards to the equivalent of $120.00 – 150.00 US per night. The rooms that were similarly priced all had their faults, some more serious than others. In many ways, it would have been like jumping from the frying pan into the fire. The rooms for $120.00 per night and up were nice, but out of my price range for a two-week stay. I did find some nicer mid-priced rooms but availability became a big problem. I could stay one night here, two nights there, one here, and so on. Physically, I just wasn’t up to moving every other day. It was at this point that I began to get a bit concerned.

Then, I remembered that 2 years ago Thanksgiving, I stayed at a private home that was rented by my friends via a house exchange. It was nothing less than great! I had the property manager’s phone number and gave her a call. I explained my situation, the sad story about my travel companion being robbed, my current state of ill health, etc., and so on, and learned that the house was available and I could have it. I readily accepted and we agreed on a fair price. The only catch was, it was such short notice that there would be a problem getting the cleaning crew over there before I needed to move in. I said that wouldn’t be a problem for me and I understand that it may need a good cleaning but I am alone and know the house and the cleaning crew could work around me. I didn’t mind. It was agreed. The property manager came over and began the initial cleaning and I moved in Christmas Eve day while she was there. Two days later, the cleaning crew showed up and went to town! I paid them extra to stockpile some firewood for me as I was unable to do so for myself.

The house was exceptionally nice, situated at the top of a hill and built in the side of that same hill.

It was completely furnished and well-appointed and included pots, pans, dishes, linens, washer, dryer, etc., and had two floors, but looked like a tri-level. There were 3 bedrooms, 2 full baths, storage rooms, laundry room, pantry, and a huge open country style kitchen, living room, and dining room. But most importantly, there were 3 fireplaces to keep you warm. Having stayed there previously, I had no problem settling in and feeling right at home. Wow, what a difference I thought, and just a few dollars more than the B&B from hell.

Not wanting to spend my entire vacation alone and not feeling well, I called my travel companion and invited her to come back and stay for a while, but she just wasn’t interested in doing so because of what happened to her. I then called Luis and he was more than anxious to go! Getting a ticket over Christmas was a bit difficult, but he managed to arrive on the 28th of December, which was fine with me. When he got out of the cab, he was a welcomed sight for sore eyes, that’s for sure!

I had already claimed the day bed in the living room by the fireplace, so Luis claimed the bedroom on the first floor that also had a fireplace. It was really cold there and you definitely needed a fireplace in the evenings and early mornings to get the chill out of the air. There was plenty of hot water that you only had to wait for about 10 seconds for, and just about every other luxury you could imagine. Oh! There were no plastic tables and chairs to be found anywhere! What a great find this rustic, wonderful home turned out to be. I’d go back tomorrow if I could. (And, I want to!)

Continuing to feel poorly, I finally gave in and went to the doctor. He (and I) determined that I had some sort of an intestinal infection that was the source of all my woes. He gave me 5 prescription medications. I filled only 3 of the 5, knowing that 2 of them were not effective for me having had them previously. The main prescription that got me on the road to feeling better was a very strong antibiotic, Levoquin. I took it and the other meds faithfully, and did start to feel a bit better.

I was able to get out and about and I took approximately 250+ pictures while in San Cristobal, and will share some of the better ones with you in my next posts. Stay tuned for lots of pictures and more on this Diversion Excursion!

To be continued with lots of photographs!!!

SAN CRISTOBAL DE LAS CASAS, CHIAPAS (CONTINUED)

2011-01-17T13:08:00.000-08:00

PART III: MOVING OUT OF THE B&B

When I awoke from my sleep, I still was feeling poorly, but the pounding in my head had subsided sufficiently to remind me that I hadn’t eaten or drank anything in more than a day and a half. I managed to get up and head for the shower to freshen up, hoping that a nice long, hot shower would not only warm me, but perhaps make me feel alive again. I turned the shower on and let it run for a few minutes waiting for the hot water. There was none! I got dressed and headed over to the office to complain. I was advised that they would check it out. I decided that I couldn’t wait for them, so I grabbed a cab, headed for the hub of activities in Centro and found a nice little restaurant that served soup and hot tea. I was satisfied with the small but tasteful meal and returned to the B&B.

Shortly after my return, there was a knock on the metal door of my room. It was the owner advising that there was no problem with the hot water. I just didn’t let it run long enough! I told him I ran it for about 2 or 3 minutes and it was as cold as ice. He then advised I had to let it run for 5 or 6 minutes!!! Unheard of anywhere in the whole world I thought. I told him I thought that was an unusual length of time, but would give it a try. He then advised me that “after all, this IS Mexico”. I then advised him that “yes, I knew where I was and in fact have lived in Mexico for the past 16 years and have been a regular visitor to Mexico since 1965, which was before he was even born!” (It was obvious to me at this point that we just weren’t getting along!)

I finally managed a hot shower and then went back to bed. While in the shower, I noticed that the folds in the shower curtain were black with mold and mildew, as was the window sill and most of the window frame in the shower. The window was three-paned, and the pane of glass at the top had been removed to allow for the water pipes. That meant continual ice cold air blowing through the bathroom and into the small room that had no means of heat, save for my Lysoled blankets. In January, it’s cold in San Cristobal and you can easily see your breath in the mornings and evenings. The sink was wall-mounted and apparently had been leaking for quite some time as evidenced by the black mold and mildew on the wall behind it. Obviously, I wasn’t a very happy camper. Break out the Lysol (again).

Early the next day, I went back to the main part of the B&B and asked to use the computer because the one in the area where I was staying wasn’t operational for whatever reason(s). Free internet, as well as hot water 24/7, were proudly touted in their ads and included in the price. After explaining that the computer in my area wasn’t working, I was shown into the kitchen where the other computer was. The preparation of breakfast was fast underway. There were three young girls, all with very long hair, playing chef and preparing eggs and toast and whatever. In between cooking, it appeared they were also playing “beauty shop” and continually played with their hair. None were wearing hairnets or any other type of head covering. Frying pans were never washed, just stacked one on top of the other and reused. The stove looked anything but inviting.

When I finished sending my e-mail, I returned to my favorite plastic chair in the courtyard to rest up a bit so I could go accommodation hunting. The owner asked if I was going to partake in the free breakfast, and I cordially replied “no”. He asked if I didn’t eat breakfast and I told him that yes, I do. However, I preferred to eat somewhere in the downtown area. That brought somewhat of a sarcastic smile and dirty look from him. I just didn’t care. I was very cordial and didn’t give him my lengthy list of reasons I wouldn’t eat out of his kitchen.

Footnote: I have specifically refrained from mentioning the name of the B&B as it is not my intention to influence opinion or attempt to ruin this guy’s business. He’s doing a great job of that all on his own. I would also point out that there are several favorable reviews out there to be had. I just don’t know where the reviewers’ stayed or what guidelines they use to evaluate an accommodation. God Bless them, one and all, and pass the Lysol!

Stay tuned for Part IV: Finding new digs (Yes, this story does, in fact, get better - lots better!)

SAN CRISTOBAL DE LAS CASAS, CHIAPAS, MEXICO (CONINUED)

2011-01-11T13:21:00.000-08:00

PART II: THE BOOKED B&B

When the cab pulled up to the B&B, it was a much welcomed sight. Unfortunately, those sentiments were short-lived. I entered the gate into a small, uninviting courtyard that had three plastic tables with umbrellas and plastic chairs. I went to what appeared to be a reception area and spoke with the owner, advising him that I had a reservation and gave him a quick recap on what had happened to my travel companion. I was then advised that my room would be ready shortly and to have a seat. I took a much needed rest in one of the plastic chairs.

In a few minutes, I was advised that my room was now ready, and to follow one of the help upstairs. Upstairs?? I told the owner that we booked and pre-paid for a room specifically requesting the first floor due to both of our medical problems and inability to continually climb up and down stairs. I also informed him that our reservation and pre-payment was contingent upon receiving a first floor accommodation which he had agreed to and guaranteed. He paused, went to his computer and said yes, that was correct. However, the two girls that were occupying the room we had reserved weren’t feeling well and decided to stay longer! I said I wasn’t feeling well either and paid for the room in advance. I was sorry they were ill, but I certainly wasn’t any better off than they were!

After more words, he asked me if I would reconsider and I flatly refused. He then said that he would move the girls to the upstairs room and I could then have the room we originally booked and paid for. The catch was, I would have to wait for them to move and for the hired help to clean the room. I had no alternative but to agree. The wait began and I continued to feel worse and worse as time went on. I returned to my plastic chair.

At this point, I must interject that both my travel companion and I viewed this place on line and together we decided it would be a suitable place to stay for a few nights if not for the entire 16 days we would be there. Between us, we must have looked at 50 different options for accommodations and we weren’t too concerned about finding another place if we didn’t like the one we had chosen. Neither of us was looking for accommodations from the Hyatt or the Ritz Carlton. Our only considerations were "clean" with a "private bathroom", not shared.

When I was told that the room was ready, I felt much relief knowing that soon I could just go to bed even though it was only around noon. Two young girls grabbed my luggage and motioned for me to follow them. I was somewhat surprised to learn that my room was a half block down the street! We entered through a metal garage door where the owner’s car was parked. It was actually a long, covered garage! There were 4 or 5 rooms on the left and a wall on the right, making for a long, dark, damp, cold, sunless corridor. My room was the third on the left.

My first impression upon entering was Oh My God! The room paralleled the garage/corridor! It was also damp, dark, dingy, dusty, dirty, old, cold, and very uninviting. It didn't even have a plastic chair! There was a single light bulb hanging from its cord in the middle of the room with a makeshift shade and one light bulb, wall mounted, in the bathroom. There was no way any direct sunlight could enter that room because of how it was situated in the long, covered corridor. There was no closet, no television, no radio, nothing! Only a double and a single bed occupied the room with a small writing table between the two. The bathroom was 3 feet by 6 feet and included a shower, wall mounted sink, and a toilet with a broken toilet seat. The toilet was so close to the wall, only a small child could mount it properly. Anyone else would have to sit slightly side saddle! I noticed that the bathroom and the floor was absolutely filthy and immediately returned to the main area and advised the owner that it wasn’t properly cleaned and there were large hairs all over the floor and the floor was so dirty that you could actually see the dirt on the floor! Not a problem I was advised, they would take care of it. Give them time to clean it again. Great, I thought, more waiting. Back I went to my favorite plastic chair in the courtyard.

About an hour later, the room was reported to be ready. By this time, I actually didn’t care what it looked like. I knew I had to lie down or fall down – no other option.

I got back to the room and it didn’t look much different to me, but at this point, I honestly, just did not care. I was totally exhausted. I pulled the covers back and inspected the sheets carefully. They were worn thin and wrinkled, but had the appearance of “clean”. I broke out my can of trusty Lysol (never leave home without it) and gave everything I could see or reach a good spray. Then, I slipped between the sheets, covered myself with two recently Lysoled blankets and fell fast asleep, head pounding, very weak and debilitated.

Ahh, but there is more! Stay tuned for Part III: Moving out of the booked B&B.

DIVERSION EXCURSION: SAN CRISTOBAL DE LAS CASAS, CHIAPAS, MEXICO (DECEMBER 21 THROUGH JANUARY 6)

2011-01-08T18:53:00.000-08:00

PART ONE – GETTING THERE.

My friend Lynn O. and I managed some advanced planning of the trip to include booking and paying for a B&B on line for our arrival. We booked for two nights only with the intent of staying longer if the location and accommodations were satisfactory. If not to our liking, we would just search the streets for another locale. Having been to San Cristobal on three previous occasions, I knew there were lots of places one could stay.

We purchased our bus tickets for the 14 hour trip well in advance and got the seats we desired. I even used my INAPAM card and got 50% off the round trip fare! What a deal!! The Mexican Government will issue senior citizens a card that allows for a 50% discount on bus fares in addition to other various discounts from participating local merchants. (Ahhh, the benefits of old age!) It reminded me of being at a restaurant in Florida and getting s senior's discount on an early bird special!

The bus was scheduled to leave on Dec 21 at 6:20 PM. On the morning of the 21st, I had a light breakfast at my favorite restaurant and packed four ham and cheese sandwiches for our journey. I did not eat anything else before getting on the bus, and was not feeling too well by late afternoon. To make a long story short, it was downhill from there. I had lots of aches and pains, headache, flushing feeling, and lower abdominal cramping. I had no other gastrointestinal symptoms, so it wasn’t the food I ate. I chalked it off to the excitement of the trip.

With each passing street sign and mile marker, I began to feel worse. I couldn’t eat or drink anything and my head was just pounding and my stomach was roaring. I felt just horrible, but there was no turning around. My travel companion, Lynn, was fine and gave me plenty of encouragement and sympathy. It helped, but definitely not a cure.

At a scheduled stop in Escarcega, Lynn reached in the overhead for her travel bag only to discover that someone had stolen her wallet, all her money, passport, credit cards, tickets, luggage checks, and medications. We desperately searched hoping it all had fallen out of the bag or she had misplaced it. Not the case. It was gone. Needless to say, Lynn was devastated and I was, too. We continued on to our next scheduled stop, Palenque, and Lynn decided she had to get off the bus and return to Merida. She couldn’t continue without identification, money, or most importantly, her medications.

I lent her sufficient funds to purchase a ticket from Palenque to Merida and buy some replacement medications from the local pharmacy, and enough to get some food and drink if she needed. The specific medication she needed is not available in Mexico but thankfully, she had a supply of it at the house in Merida. I gave her the sandwiches and drinks I had packed and I continued on to San Cristobal and she returned to Merida. I was hoping she would later join me in San Cristobal, but she just wasn’t up for the trip again. Who could blame her after all that?

I continued to feel worse and worse and arrived in San Cristobal quite under the weather. I was worried about Lynn, slightly anxious about being alone, wondering about the B&B we booked, and just basically how all this would work its way out. It was a trying time to say the least.

I had two check-in bags and a small carry on. When I got to San Cristobal, I had to claim my check-in bags. What a complete hassle. The baggage claim checks were stolen out of Lynn’s bag, along with the return tickets! I eventually convinced the baggage handler that I was who I presented to be and gave him plenty of identification. He rather reluctantly gave me my bags. Of course, I had to wait until everyone else had claimed their bags. Continuing to feel worse and extremely weak, I searched for a porter. There were none to be had! They don’t use them at bus stations. You just schlep your bags as best you can.

I struggled with the luggage and managed to get it out of the station and to the cab stand. By now, I must have looked like death warmed over because the cabbie took pity on me and loaded my bags in the cab for me. I told him where I needed to go, and he gave me a blank look. He never heard of the place we had booked. I had to shuffle through my papers and came up with the address. He finally delivered me to my destination and I was relieved to be at the B&B!

This story is to be continued, believe me! Stay tuned for Part II – The booked B&B.

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

2010-12-14T15:58:00.000-08:00

I'll be traveling in Chiapas, Mexico, for Christmas and New Year, but just wanted to take this opportunity to wish you and yours a very Merry Christmas and a Happy, Prosperous New Year!

May all the joys and wonders of this magical season be yours. And never forget the reason for the season!

I'll have at least one or two "Diversion Excursions" to blog about when I get back!

Talk with you in 2011!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!

FELIZ NAVIDAD Y PROSPERO AÑO NUEVO!

DID YOU KNOW THAT PART OF YOUR BRAIN IS PRE-PROGRAMMED???

2010-12-11T14:53:00.000-08:00

As scary a thought as it may be, this is a true statement! It’s not like we’re brainwashed or anything like that. It’s just the way we were made.

To prove this statement, here is a simple little test that won’t take but a few seconds. As you are reading this, or at your leisure, raise your right foot off the floor and move it in a clockwise direction. Now, with your right hand, pretend you are at a chalk board, and write the number 6. You’re foot will change directions and there isn’t a damn thing you can do about it!

I’ll bet you tried again didn’t you?

Trust me – YOU CAN’T DO IT!

MERIDA MIKEY ON AIRPORT SECURITY

2010-11-29T15:40:00.000-08:00

FAIR WARNING: IF ANIMATED NUDITY OFFENDS YOU, PLEASE LOG OUT AND GO TO: WWW.MARY_POPPINS.GET-A-LIFE.

There sure has been lots of talk lately about airport security, ultra-“violating” x-ray machines, and patting down/fondling by Homeland Security personnel working at airports.

I travel quite frequently, but personally, haven’t had the pleasure of going through this procedure of being x-rayed or patted down. I feel this way about it, those that complain the loudest would be the absolute first in line to again complain even louder about lack of security should some unfortunate situation happen on a flight.

You have to really ask yourself “what price safety and security”? If it means going through a “see-all” x-ray machine or getting patted down and/or fondled, so be it. Gentlemen, just close your eyes and pretend you’re getting a lap dance. (Don’t be overly concerned about who's doing the dancing.) And, don’t make a fool of yourself by trying to hand the inspector a ten dollar bill as a tip! Ladies, just think of it as a pre-flight massage/rub down and fly relaxed during your journey. And, no tipping!

There actually is an alternative to all this. You can book your flight on this new start-up airlines that I’m sure will “take off”!

I say whatever it takes to make the skies safe, I'm OK with it. How about you?

AGUINALDO: BONO NAVIDEÑO, OR TO US GRINGOS - CHRISTMAS BONUS!!

2010-11-24T18:42:00.000-08:00

Yes, it is definitely that time of year. It all starts with the mail carriers who have their special day on November 12, Dia del Cartero. In your mail box, they will leave a card with a return envelope, preprinted with their name on it. (Convenient, huh?)

You simply insert your “gift” as a token of appreciation for their service for the past year. I think they must like me because I actually participate in giving, partially because I have always given to my mailman when in the States in appreciation for the services they provide, and partially out of fear that if I don’t give, I may never receive another piece of mail as long as I live in Mexico!

On the other hand, I readily give generously to my housekeeper who works for me fulltime, year round. She is an integral part of my adopted family that I have been fortunate enough to have for 23+ years now. She is a single mother and has two children and a small house that she supports on the salary I pay her. In addition, any special needs that arise, I take care of plus I help whenever I can throughout the year. Her Christmas bonus is above and beyond the norm, and includes several gifts for both her and the children. I do believe that it is more blessed to give than to receive and this is one way I can give back to the community that I have chosen to live in. Something I think we all should do.

If you live in Mexico and you have an employee such as a housekeeper, gardener, cook, driver, or just someone who stops by to help you with chores every now and then, you should consider paying an Aguinaldo. It is customary to do so here in the Yucatan and throughout Mexico as well. There are even formulas on the internet to ascertain the amount you should pay!

Basically, from what I have seen from others living here, the Aguinaldo is considered the “Thirteenth Pay”. That is, one months’ salary for either full or part time help. In addition, to the monetary part of the Aguinaldo, a gift, or gifts, are often given as a token of appreciation for loyal service and/or longevity of service, or both.

Aguinaldo’s are usually paid in Mid-November up to the first part of December and often represents the total “Christmas” the family will have, including food, drink, and gifts. Often, the children in the family will receive some new clothing as their gift and are absolutely delighted to do so! (Unlike some children “north of the border”.) Let’s face it, the people that work for us are generally poor and do the best they can with what they have. It doesn’t hurt to help. It feels GREAT!

You don’t have to give until it hurts, just give until it helps.

MERIDA MIKEY ON GIVING 100%

2010-11-18T09:08:00.000-08:00

Here is a little something someone sent me that is indisputable mathematical logic. This is a strictly mathematical viewpoint. It goes like this:

What Makes 100%? What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What makes up 100% in life?Here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions.

If:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

is represented as:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then

H-A -R -D-W-O -R -K

8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

K -N -O -W-L -E-D-G-E

11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5= 96%

But

A-T -T -I -T -U -D-E

1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

And,

B -U -L -L -S -H-I -T

2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND, look how far ass kissing will take you.

A-S -S -K -I -S-S -I -N-G

1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7= 118%

So, one can conclude with mathematical certainty, that While Hard work and Knowledge will get you close, and Attitude will get you there, it’s the Bullshit and Ass kissing that will put you over the top.

P.S. I didn't chek with the internet Gestapo, Snopes, to see if this is true.

SOME COMPLETELY WORTHLESS, MOSTLY USELESS, TRIVIAL INFORMATION FOR YOU TO PONDER

2010-11-05T09:24:00.000-07:00

I present, for your reading enjoyment, some of the most worthless and useless "stuff" you have ever laid your eyes on! (But, it's fun!!!)

After reading this, you may just say "duh, I didn't know that." (But then again, who cares?) :-)

Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand

And "lollipop" is the longest word typed with your right hand. (Bet you tried this out mentally, didn't you?)

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt". (Are you doubting this?)

Our eyes are always the same size from birth,

but our nose and ears never stop growing.

The sentence: "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet. (Now, you KNOW you're going to try this out for accuracy, right?)

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes). (Yep, I knew you were going to "do" this one.)

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous. (You're not doubting this, are you?)

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious." (Yes, admit it, you are going to say, a e i o u)

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. (All you typists are going to test this out)

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds. (Some days that's about what my memory span is.)

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

A snail can sleep for three years. (I know some people that could do this too.!)

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that also.)

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

If the population of China walked past you, 8 abreast, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The cruise liner, QE 2 moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket. (Good thing he did that.)

The winter of 1932 was so cold that Niagara Falls froze completely solid.

There are more chickens in the world than people.

Women blink more than me do.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance

Bonus!! All the ants in Africa weigh more than ALL the Elephants!!

Now you know (a little) more than you did before!! Go forth and be intelligent!

CAN YOU HELP FIND MOKITO????

2010-10-29T10:31:00.000-07:00

MOIKITO IS MISSING - CAN YOU HELP FIND HIM?

A good friend of mine, Lin, is missing one of her cats. He's a friendly little guy and his name is Mokito.

He's been missing since October 23. He went out for his usual adventure, but hasn't returned yet!

He lives in Centro on Calle 75 between 66 and 68. If you have seen him, or know his whereabouts, please call Lin at 285-3935.

Thank you for any help you can give.

REFLECTIONS - FLORIDA AND THE ECONOMY

2010-10-26T17:11:00.000-07:00

After just returning from almost a full month in Florida, I am really happy to be home here in Merida. Wow, what a difference in everything!

Florida remains hard hit in all aspects of the economy. The Real Estate market is essentially non-existent, there are no jobs, what few industrial endeavors were once flourishing are now closing or scaling way back adding to the already outrageous unemployment rates. Times are difficult for many.

One thing I did notice was the lack of homeless people on every street corner. On my previous visit, I was shocked by the amount of people, families included, who were begging for work or a few dollars donation on almost every major intersection in the city. I mentioned this to a friend and she told me that the city cracked down on these folks and literally put a stop to it all. It was giving the city a bad image. I have mixed emotions about this one, but it really was distressing to see all these unfortunate people who had reached their breaking points and had to beg for work and/or money on the streets. As I previously mentioned, times are difficult for many.

Retail stores have also scaled way back on the number of employees available to assist you. I was in one store, a very large store I might add, that did not have one person on the floor to assist you except for stock clerks who are now serving as sales persons when cornered by a customer. I managed to corner one and he was actually quite helpful in pointing me in the right direction. A few years ago, there was one sales person in every department! I guess you could say those were the good old days (?). It wasn’t much different in K-Mart, Wal-Mart, Target, or JC Penny’s. Not a soul around to help you and there were no crowds of shoppers to fight. The lack of sales clerks equates to more folks on the unemployment roles.

Restaurants are still closing, but one was actually reopening under a different name and new management. That was a bit encouraging. All service industries are feeling the economic crunch as evidenced by fewer employees to assist you and less services being offered. If someone quits, retires, or is dismissed, they generally are not replaced. A rather confusing scenario, but these small “mom and pop” businesses are doing their best to keep their doors open.

Prices in the grocery stores and at the gas pumps do not reflect the hard, economic times that are upon us. Prices continue to rise and there are no real “breaks” in prices anywhere, save for coupons. I witnessed lots of folks using coupons to do their grocery shopping, and I don’t blame them for doing so.

Florida is one of the States in the middle of extensive elections for Governor, Senate, and State Legislative positions as well as numerous local elections. Perhaps some change will come out of it all. We shall see and hope for the best.

Here in Merida, we feel the “trickle down” effects of the economic woes of the US, but economically speaking, I see things as being slightly brighter here in Merida than in Florida, save for the job market which still allows for “slave-labor” wages for the unskilled workers. You still get a bigger bang for your dollar here in Merida than in the US, but prices are slowly but surely creeping up every day, especially at the gas pumps and in the grocery stores. Having said that, I am still really glad to be home!

I’m not an economist, but I do consider myself somewhat observant. I hope things can start to turn around, not only for Florida but for the entire US. My heart goes out to those that are homeless or unemployed trying their best to raise a family. I can only imagine how difficult it is for them to exist on a day-to-day basis not knowing what tomorrow will bring. We can only hope and pray that the economy will turn around and these economic woes will fall by the wayside.

WILD SEX IN MERIDA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2010-10-02T13:40:00.000-07:00

WILD SEX RUNS RAMPANT ON THE STREETS AND IN THE CANTINAS!!!

Now that I have your attention, I just want to let you know that I’ll be traveling during the next month and won’t be posting much of anything, if at all! However, when I return, I may have something to say! ‘Ya never know!

And by the way, I know of no wild sex in Merida and the only thing rampant on the streets and in the cantinas are chicklet/candy vendors!

I know, I know, disappointing, isn’t it?

Will chat again, soon.

SOME UPBEAT TALK ABOUT THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE!

2010-09-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this and find it uplifting. There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is 'UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ?

At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ?

Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election?

Why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report?

We call UP our friends.

You can brighten UP a room and polish UP the silver.

We warm UP the leftovers and then clean UP the kitchen.

We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP old cars.

At other times the little word has real special meaning.

People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses.

To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is special.

And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP!

We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night.

We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP !

To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, look the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4th of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions.

If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more.

When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP! When it rains, it wets the earth and often messes things UP.

When it doesn't rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now. My time is UP, so......it is time to shut UP!

Oh . . . just one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night?

U - P!!!!!!!!!

(OK, OK, I’ll go UP to my room.)

THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE

2010-09-24T11:28:00.000-07:00

Personally, I have toiled for years on end trying to learn Spanish. I have not been very successful and probably won’t get much better at it. But, I will continue to try.

Let’s face it, learning any foreign language is a most difficult task unless you are subjected to the language from a very early age. Learning the English language has got to be one of the most difficult languages a person can attempt.

For example, if you were a teacher, how would you approach the following and convey the meaning(s) to your students??

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Without a doubt, English is a crazy language.

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France .

Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham?

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?

One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not just one amend?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Ship by truck and send cargo by ship?

We have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on. English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all.

That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

And I thought learning Spanish was difficult! Good luck to each and every one of you who are trying to learn English, or expand your knowledge of the language! It ain't easy, is it? (I feel the same way about learning Spanish!)

MERIDA MIKEY ON BLOGGING

2010-09-10T08:46:00.000-07:00

Recently, I’ve had a few inquiries as to why I haven’t posted a new blog lately. Well, to be perfectly honest, I haven’t had too much to say! I do not blog just to “blog”. There is plenty, actually too much, of that going on out there. I find most of those daily blogs to be dull, boring, and mundane all wrapped up in one. I’m not saying that my blogs are any better, they just aren’t a daily dose of “today I got up and then went to bed”. Really, who cares???

I try to post upbeat things about the wonderful area I have chosen to live in and some of the things I have done that I find interesting and exciting. I could easily be employed by the local Chamber of Commerce if we had such a thing! I try very hard to avoid controversial subject matter, and will not post political or religious subject matter blogs. I also try extremely hard not to post negative blogs and complain and whine about everything from the weather to the lousy neighbors and the fact that life has dealt me a hand in poker that won’t get me to the poker finals. We all have our problems and our ups and downs, but I don’t think they routinely make for good reading.

Actually, I am signed in to Google Analytics and I track my readership. I normally have up to 1,000 readers from 35 – 40 different countries. There are many bloggers who have considerable more followers than me, but that is not my goal. My goal is to keep my family and friends informed of what is going on with me in my retirement. For those of you that enjoy my writings, thank you very much and I will do my best to continue to keep you posted!

I am currently working on two blogs that I think you will find interesting. Stay tuned!

DIVERSION EXCURSION: PUERTO SISAL, YUCATAN, MEXICO

2010-08-16T07:32:00.000-07:00

Locally, “sisal” has two primary meanings. First, one may very well think of the rope or twine, known world wide as sisal. Secondly, Sisal is the name of a small, sleepy little fishing village on the coast of the Yucatan Peninsula.

This is a picture of the henequen plant from which the sisal twine is made.

This is a picture of some sisal rope. (These are actually hammock extensions used to tie your hammock to the special holder in the wall.)

But, that’s not what this blog is about! This blog is about a wonderful day I recently spent in the sleepy little fishing village of Sisal, just 52 kilometers (32 miles) from Merida. It is a pleasant one hour drive through some very interesting, small pueblos where I like to stop and buy fresh fruits and veggies from the local roadside stands.

At one time, during the peak of henequen and sisal production in the Yucatan, Sisal was a major port, booming in the export and import trade. With the onslaught of synthetic (nylon) fibers, jute twine lost its prominence as did the port of Sisal. There are no more large boats that dock there, just small individual fishing boats. There is no large henequen production going on locally, although the industry does survive to this day, producing twine, paper, cloth, wall coverings, carpets, and dart boards!

Sisal is an interesting place to visit with beautiful, unspoiled beaches that invite you to take a casual stroll and get that sugar-like white sand between your toes! There is no evidence of beach erosion in the entire area. The water is crystal clear and beckons you to take a dip to cool off before you visit one of the many great restaurants that serve fresh seafood.

My favorite restaurant is the RESTAURANTE MUELLE DE SISAL (The Pier of Sisal Restaurant) located directly on the beach. As you are driving in to Sisal, heading directly to the pier, there is a sign for the restaurant to the right. Hard to miss it! I don’t normally do restaurant reviews, but this place is totally outstanding including, location, ambiance, cleanliness, service, food, and prices. Oh! And the beer is always ice cold!! (But I’m sure that is not of primary importance to any of my readers!)

Botanas (appetizers) are free when you order a cerveza (beer), and consist of a variety of seafood delicacies. A large, fresh crab cocktail, is 75 pesos (approximately 6 USD). It is 100% crab meat with garnish of sauce, onions, and cilantro served on the side. A shrimp cocktail of equal size is the same price. The menu offers a wide variety of seafood entrees and slowly, but surely, I am working my through them! This is some of the absolute best seafood I have ever eaten in Mexico. It is well worth the drive to Sisal just to have a casual seafood lunch on the beach while enjoying a magnificent view and an ice cold brew! Another great value is a large pitcher of fresh lemonade for only 40 pesos (approximately 3 USD). You can well afford to take the family or invite your friends. (Below: Merida Mikey, indulging and imbibing.)

Although not a major destination for tourists and almost ignored, Sisal is an overlooked but very charming beach community with not much more to offer other than beautiful beaches, crystal clear water, friendly smiles, and a variety of great seafood restaurants. Who could ask for anything more?

In such close proximity to Merida, it is definitely worth a drive there to check it out for yourself. Personally, I’m hooked on Sisal!

REVISITED: IMMIGRATION REQUIREMENTS TO LIVE IN MEXICO

2010-07-26T15:04:00.000-07:00

On March 7, 2010, after having just received my renewed FM-2, I blogged about the requirements to live in Mexico with the following caveat: “I’m slightly hesitant to post this, as the requirements seem to change quite frequently. I’m not so sure that the actual laws change that often, but the interpretation of the laws certainly seem to!”

Just a few weeks later on April 1, 2010, all hell broke loose and both the laws and procedures changed drastically, basically nullifying my post! I do wish to point out that if you are a first time applicant, you will still need to adhere to all the requirements I listed in my blog. Even though the laws and procedures have changed, those requirements still remain in place for first time applicants. I confirmed this from a friend who just received his first FM-3.

My friend Linda recently posted the new requirements and procedures now in place. For me to do to the same would be redundant, so I am referring you to her blog. It is two parts and she has done a totally outstanding job, including step-by-step instructions you will need to follow. It is the best information “out there” and definitely worth a review. It could save you lots of time, pain and suffering!

The new system appears to be more streamlined and the Mexican Government has lightened up on the requirements for renewals. I think they finally figured out that all we “extranjeros” do is live here and spend money!

YOU MUST CHECK OUT LINDA’S BLOGS. GO TO: http://ldorton.blogspot.com/

In closing, please refer to the caveat at the top of my blog!!!

MEMORABLE QUOTES FROM SOME VERY MEMORABLE FOLKS

2010-07-17T17:05:00.000-07:00

I recently received the following quotes in the form of an e-mail from a former co-worker and good friend. I’ve received this one previously, perhaps two years ago, and enjoyed it so much that I was pleased to receive it again and I thought I’d share it with you.

Now, before you ask/criticize, I have not, repeat, have not, checked with the Internet Gestapo, SNOPES, to confirm the validity of these quotes. I’m passing them on not as the Gospel according to Mikey, but as an interesting take on life in general, be they true or false. I found them entertaining and hope you will too. (And by the way, how in the hell does SNOPES know so much and who gave them the absolute authority on all issues??? Who funds them??? Who are “they”???)

Here are some interesting and timeless "quotes" I hope you enjoy!

Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, 'Lillian, you should have remained a virgin.'

- Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)

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I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue: - 'No good in a bed, but fine against a wall.'

- Eleanor Roosevelt

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Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement..

- Mark Twain

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The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible

- George Burns

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Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.

- Victor Borge

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Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

- Mark Twain

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By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

- Socrates

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I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

- Groucho Marx

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My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe.

- Jimmy Durante

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I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back.

- Zsa Zsa Gabor
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Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat.

- Alex Levine

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My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying.

- Rodney Dangerfield
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Money can't buy you happiness .... But it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery

- Spike Milligan

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Until I was thirteen, I thought my name was SHUT UP .

- Joe Namath

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I don't feel old. I don't feel anything until noon. Then it's time for my nap.

- Bob Hope

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I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it..

- W. C. Fields

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We could certainly slow the aging process down if it had to work its way through Congress.

- Will Rogers

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Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

- Winston Churchill

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Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty .. But everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out..

- Phyllis Diller

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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

- Billy Crystal

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And the cardiologist' s diet: - If it tastes good spit it out.

(A special thanks to RM for putting me back in touch with these very amusing quotes!)